Accident

Chapter 37

I look over my shoulder for the ending of our performance.

The crowd cheers and I wink while smiling. I go to the other unnies and we bow, before leaving the crowd.

Simon (manager) hands me a bottle of water and I thank him. He leads me and the other girls to our seats.

I sit on the very end and Simon stands next to me. "You did great", he whispers at me and I look up. I smile at him and he smiles back.

We watch some performances and then its Stray kids performance.

I recognize the music its the one I danced to on my debut show.

I vibe to the music and don't notice, that the reaction camera is filming me.

I see Lix dancing his part and pout cutely at his dance.

I love how is so concentrated in his work.

Momo unnie taps my shoulder and points to a big screen. I look up and see my face.

My eyes widen and I hide in Jimin unnies back. The audience kind of starts to laugh and I start too blush.

My face swings to Simons direction and he giggles.

I pout mad at him and he pouts back. We communicate like this.

I lay my head to the side and he nods before leaving. After some minutes he comes back with a bottle water.

I take it and thank him. I drink a little, before giving it to Momo unnie.

All the performances finished and now they are announcing the winner of rocky group this year.

"The winner of this year is
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....TNW", the mic guy says and my unnies pull me up into a hug. Sana unnie starts our handclap and we all follow.

"TNW tomorrow now wherever TINY", we scream and start to walk into the stage. We bow at all the other groups and Jennie unnie takes the award.

She says something and gives it to Momo unnie. Then its Sana unnie's turn.

"Tiny thank you so so much. We love you so much! I wish I could hug you all right now, but I cant so im sending you virtual hugs. I want to take this chance to tell my members how much thankful I am that we were able to debut together. I couldn't have made it without you.

And my dear maknae Sisi. Oh Im so sorry for being strict to you. Your just so precious to me and I don't want to lose you", Sana unnie starts to tear up and I quickly hug her.

"Its okay unnie", I smile at her and wish her tears away. She tightens her hug and then lets go, so that I can do my speech.

"So...I wanted to thank Tiny. Tiny give me a reason to live to not give up and believe in myself thank you so much.

My unnies actually said everything I wanted to say so I don't know what to say", I pout and the crowd cheers again.

"Ah yes I know. I wanted to send a massage far away from here. To a place I might go when I get old...", I look at the ceiling and look back into the audience.

"UNNIE I MADE IT. You can leave in peace now", I yell and it means so much for me to say those words.

Some tears start to flow down my face and Jimin unnie hugs me. She pats my back and I can hear the crowd cheering again. Sana unnie pats my back and

I lift my head up. Momo unnie wipes my tears away and smiles at me. Jennie unnie takes my hand and gives me the award.

I hold it as high as I can and bow.

We go off stage and go back to our seats. "Are you okay?", Sana unnie ask worried.

And I can feel my heart beating at a extreme fast speed. I close my eyes and nod. "Let her sit down and get Simon (Manager)", Jimin unnie tells Sana unnie and she puts me down on the seat.

"Breath Sisi. Your okay", I hear everything like if it was far away form here.

My breath gets more and more uneven. Someone pulls me up again. "She's having a panic attack", Simon says and I put my hand to my chest.

"Silas....Lix....Somi....Appa....Eomma", I start to list up random names that are precious to me.

"Appa....Silas...Lix", my chest start to hurt like someone is stabbing me.

"Air...AIR LIX AIR", my mind is going crazy.

"Breath", I hear Simon say.

But I cant its like my chest is not able to breath.

"What is she whispering?", I hear Sana unnie ask. "I think she's listing some names up. Silas her brother. Somi her sister. Appa, Eomma and Lix...Someone get Felix!", Jimin unnie suddenly yells.

I hear someone start to run. "Maybe we should leave her alone", Sana unnie says and some footsteps disappears.

"Where is she?", I hear Jimin unnie and then footsteps following her.

"There"

"Hey Sisi...Princess", this voice is like medicine.

My chest finally gets air and I pant.

Ten minutes later my breathing gets normal again and I can see normally.

Lix is sitting in front of me and his eyes are so worried.

"Im sorry for letting you alone. I shouldn't have let you alone, never. I should have been there for you and I shouldn't have ignored you. You didn't deserve this, but...but I had to.", Lix starts to say everything at once.

"What do you mean?", I ask confused.

"You have no idea?", he asks and I shake my head.

"Im freaking in love with you!

I loved you when I left you in Australia and I loved you when I left you in Seoul.

I know we cant date because the dating ban and we are just friends but I cant help it.

You give me shivers and I feel like a freaking butterfly when im with you. I knew I was in love with you again, that night I promised to go with you to there grave.

But I couldn't keep my promise so what can I promise if I cant even keep this one.

I thought maybe distancing me from you is better, but its not.

Its freaking hell.

I want to be with you hold you kiss you cuddle you, but

I can't.

I just want to tell you that I am sorry for how I behaved for the past few month. You don't have to forgive me-",

I cut him off my kissing him.

"I love you", I tell him and his eyes widen.