All Things Wild and Beautiful

43. Internal Tensions

The artwork above is not mine.

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    Nascha ended up not having to attend training the day after the ball, much to their relief. Fenrys had been in the middle of trying to wake her when word came from Lysandra that Aedion was too hungover to do anything, and Vaughan was staying home for the day. She had promised there would be no repercussions if Nascha skipped training, especially since she wasn't an actual member of the Bane and her two trusted supervisors would be unavailable the entire day.

    Fenrys had jokingly pointed out to Nascha that she'd gone to the camp before when Vaughan and Aedion were both gone. That earned him a solid whack from a pillow and a vow that she would be sleeping the entire day and not doing anything that might remotely benefit him. In the end, Fenrys managed to pull Nascha out of bed for a quick trip into Orynth.

    They had gone to purchase a contraceptive tonic and ingredients to make more in the future. Fenrys wasn't worried about an accidental pregnancy, but Nascha had expressed her desire to take the necessary precautions for now. Despite the difficulty Fae had with conceiving, it was still a risk. Fae pregnancies were often very difficult, and the births even more so. With Nascha's magic hitting rough patches and her Settling approaching, it was better not to take that risk. It could be disastrous for both her and the child.

    Still, Fenrys couldn't help but imagine what their children would be like. Would they have blonde hair like him or red hair like her? Would they inherit her brown eyes or his onyx ones? Perhaps they'd have the blue eyes that ran prominently in Nascha's family. What would their magic be? Their secondary forms? Would they be twins like him and Connall? Would they have boys or girls?

    He shoved the thoughts aside after they returned from Orynth. They had too much to figure out before thinking about having children. Besides, neither of them were ready for children yet, even though Fenrys had to admit the thought was tempting.

    He found his thoughts turning to Seraphina and their unconfirmed child the next morning, as he prepared for a meeting that Aelin had summoned him to. Perhaps when he returned to Doranelle, he could find Seraphina's family and ask them if they knew anything about a child. Maybe he would finally receive an answer to the question that had plagued him for so long. Then again, maybe Nascha was right and he was better off not knowing.

    "You're far away this morning," Nascha remarked, resting her hands on his shoulders. "Are you all right?"

    Fenrys offered her a small smile. "Yeah, I'm just thinking."

    "About what?"

    "How the others will react to this." He gestured between the two of them. "To us."

    Nascha pursed her lips. "I've been thinking about that too. I've decided that they can say what they like, but it won't change how I feel." She glanced at him. "This doesn't change how I feel about Arcelia either. I love you, and I think I could stay in Terrasen with you, but I can't become Lady of Arcelia."

    Fenrys sighed, brushing his thumb across her cheek. "That is something we can discuss later. I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to but..."

    "You want to protect Terrasen and help Aelin."

    "Yes."

    She gave a slow nod. "We'll talk about it later." Nascha pressed a soft kiss to his lips and headed towards the door, just as a knock sounded.

    "Try not to walk so stiffly," Fenrys teased. "Aeron might be jealous."

    Nascha lifted her middle finger and stuck her tongue out at him. She opened the door, revealing Vaughan. "Let's go," he said. There was a cold edge to his voice and Fenrys narrowed his eyes. Nascha watched Vaughan with a faintly worried expression as she shifted into her owl and followed him.