The Feeling Of Infinity∞

Six{°} Back story

Ruth

(^_^メ)

Weeks with Gideon were terrible. Recovery was something really far from us. I don't know what's wrong with this guy.

He wasn't much of a talker and I honestly understood that.  But him not talking during the therapy sessions was something I couldn't get and I really knew that the approach I was taking towards handling his case were the most recommended for his situation but then I knew it wasn't working.

During his visits to my office, staring to space was definitely his habit; a bad one at that.I often wondered what he was always gazing at that I couldn't see. Constantly lost in thoughts and trapped in his enclosed world. Walls I wanted to break through.

I know the clinic's environment wasn't something he was fond of, not sure why but I could see  that from his face and awkwardness anytime he was around here.

Somehow, despite how well he was playing hard to get,  I could tell from his body language and the few answers he gave that it something to do with family issues. I just needed him to talk a bit more; if he could open up then we'd be off to a better start.

(٥↼_↼)

Speaking of family issues, I'm reminded that I was a victim of that while growing up.

I was this little girl, born into this perfect family; at least it was so I thought before the broke up happened.

The divorce was what tore my almost perfect life apart and  I spent my entire teen years trying to put every piece back together.

Dad divorced my mom to go pursue his new found love life with his lover.

He left Jasmina and I to suffer for it.  Mom,she was really good in playing okay; she would was always faking happiness during the day and at night would lock herself in her room to face the reality she was good at hiding from the world.

Sulking her way to bed was the night routine for her. You know, back then I used to pity her, I mean all of us.

Truth be told, the  one who was really suffering from all rumble wasn't  my mom nor my sis. It was actually me.

I was just good at playing the okay game. I still am.

My mom was quick to find another guy to lean on and I was forced to accept him as my new dad. Jasmina didn't and I totally understand her for that. She couldn't see anyone replacing dad.

Sometimes I wonder whether I made the right decision by supporting my mom on her conquest to self happiness. Well, if I had disagreed to their union, it wouldn't change anything. My consent wasn't really needed anyways.

Her pursuit for happiness only lead to more hurt and destruction of what was already left.

Jasmina had her own way of escaping from all the hurt inside. I didn't though.

I was good in hiding all the hurt and pain inside. I deceive myself to believe that I was okay and that everything was gonna work out in the end. It never did.

I was naive enough to believe that as long as my grades in school were alright, my dad would see that I was a good girl and come back to us. Dumb, right?

It was easy to convince myself that as long as we could afford everything we wanted and all those  expensive stuff, we would get by through the had times. We did get by, I think.

But yet again I guess I was wrong!

I had almost everything, but happiness was far from the things I had. I was missing my dad and my mom was the person I use to know as my mom. She was too busy on dinner dates with her new guy. She didn't have time for me nor my  Jasmina in her time schedule.