The Feeling Of Infinity∞

Thirty Three//Time changes everything 🎀

Ruth had to be induced into a medically administered coma. It was as a result of the immense stressed she was beginning to receive from all that was happening.

It's day 24.

The lady from earlier kept coming back. Jasmina and her kept having serious clashes around here. I was convinced she was their mom.

Ruth has already gone through some surgeries,all being attempts to remove the tumor. Quite a large portion of it has already been taken out, just a small portion left of it. It's close to saying that everything is going as planned but than an early celebration could just be walking into a time bomb. After this,she'll still be having the recovery phase to face.

Each operation that have been performed so far took about a time estimate of 4-5 hours.

Though her chances of getting through the whole thing is still pretty high,an estimate of 75%, we still had to worry about the possibilities of her obtaining serious infections or the possibilities of them cutting through her nerves unintentionally.

***

Ruth has just gone for her very last surgery. She's currently being kept in the ICU section.

It's quite funny to see how things actually started out and where we are now. I use to be the patient,now she's the patient.

I don't know what kind of relationship she and her mom currently share or will be sharing after she wakes up,but she's shared a lot with me and I'm sure she still has a lot to share with her daughter,Ruth.

She's shared much with me on how much of a bad mom she's actually been.

I think it was around Ruth's second surgery. It wasn't like my presence was really needed but I still stick around; just to give my support.

She walked up to where I sat and then, things started off as though she was thanking me for the support I've shown to the family as a whole.

At some point in her entire appreciation,she got too emotional perhaps and then boom the entire story began.

"I don't think the phrase mother is something I'm deserving of. It was actually something I only came to realize the day I left them at their uncle's house and walked away." She said with a sober voice.

"I was too lost lusting after what was already taken from me."

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"I was never the demanding wife." That was how she started her story.

"I wanted only the best from my girls and perhaps that was what I got. Their father,I didn't need much from him to know I was loved,at least it was so I thought."

"I heard rumors carried by the wind that he was seeing another woman, having a mistress for a while but it was something I didn't put much interest to. I would say I was stupid not to have put much interest to them because I trusted much in the faithfulness of my husband. Little did I know that he was worse than those pervert bastard in the streets."

"After the divorce,I tried to stay strong,I really tried but in the end I had to fall to defeat."

"I always thought I was the strong mom,the fearless woman and most especially the faithful wife; defeat taught me that I was none of that."

"Divorce was just an open writing on the wall that said  we were never a family."

"I had flaws,too much for that matter. I couldn't see beyond them,it was my weakness and what lead to my fall."

"I thought divorce was the worse punishment in the book;it was never it."

"I lost my job and sanity,I turned to alcohol. I had a brother who treated people in my condition but anxiety stopped me from reaching out to him. I knew I was a goner."

"I feel in love again. Maybe it wasn't falling in love but rather falling in lust. I turned my back on everything dear too me."

She shared pretty much with me.
I think at some point she got too emotional.