The Feeling Of Infinity∞

Twenty Nine// Helpless...🎀

Gideon
(✪㉨✪)

Ruth sat looking all sober,I didn't know whether to approach her or not. A lot had happened in just two hours. From someone attempting to commit suicide at her office to us being here at the hospital.

I walked up to her where she sat with two cup of coffee,one for me and the other for her.

She had been crying for a while now,when she noticed me walking up to her she quickly rushes to wipe her tears off her face.

I sit next to her. Give her the coffee,she did the usual fake smile and said the famous polite quote,'thank you.'

Her eyes,wet from all the tears she's shade,her hands felt cold. I felt it when she took the coffee from my hand.

I envied her composure in a way. She managed to say calm even after shedding a few tears. At a time such as this anyone would have been experiencing a break down even if she was experiencing any,she managed to stay calm.

I could tell she was holding back those tears, encouraging herself everything was gonna be alright; fighting those tears from falling.

"I wasn't crying. Just dirt that went in my eyes." She inhales deeply.
I give her my handkerchief. She uses it to clean her tears.
"It's okay to shed a few tears,you know." Just trying to console her.
"Even the strongest of us have too." I add.

I've never seen her this terrified before. Her hands were all shaky,I even feared she'll be spilling coffee on the floor anytime soon.

While I was still trying to console her, the patient that had just attempted to take her life's parents walked in.

Just by spotting Ruth,she rushed to her, slapped her and then pushing Ruth to to the floor. She further threatened to sue her. Her husband who came along with her,tried to calm her down,he managed to hold her back before she could cause more harm than she already did.

I managed to help Ruth get back to her feet.

Soon after Ruth's family came in also. They went to her aid. Their presence suggested that I was no longer needed.

I walked away, down to the lobby where my care was packed. Right when I was about to get into my car, Jasmina, Ruth's sister called out to me from behind.

She walked up to me just to say thank you.
"Thanks for not leaving her side!" She said.
"It was nothing." I responded.

On my way back home I couldn't help it but feel guilty. Maybe if I had not showed up none of this would have ever happen.

***

I never really meant any harm by going to the mental clinic to see her.  I just wanted to give her this bracelet she dropped the last time we actually had our last idle conversation.

I think it was the end of the Therapeutic procedures;I mean that's how she puts it.

We went for this walk, around this resort they held this retreat,where we talked about a few things and I made quite  a few jokes with her.

She was so optimistic and proud of how far I've come.

"From about three to four psychologist,now look at you. All better." She said wearing this her usual smile.
"Yeah,but none of this would have been possible without you." I said.