The Feeling Of Infinity∞

Thirty Two// Big sick 🎀

Gideon
(✪㉨✪)

It was 3am, really early. Jasmina called to inform me that Ruth was taken to the hospital.

Not much was disclosed about what really happened to her before she was rushed there. It was easy to tell Jasmina was in panic mode but just trying to stay calm. Her stuttering over the phone revealed much of the anxiety she was going through at that point in time.

I prepared myself and drove to the hospital's address she mentioned. Sarah insisted on coming with me,I tried to push her plea to come along with me over but in the end I had to give in.

Arriving at the hospital, I managed to locate her room and well,I could tell some kinda drama took place before I got there.

As I calmly walked to her room door,I saw a lady sharing close resemblance with Jasmina and Ruth walking out of the room. The lady was shedding quite a few tears wasn't sure why but my mind came to the conclusion that she was probably their mom.

She had Jasmina outward appearance but her eyes,looked like that of Ruth.

I could tell the tension that was in the air maybe as a result of what had happened earlier. It wasn't my business to even bother to ask about it,my primary objective here was just to know how Ruth's actually doing and that was all. Their family issue wasn't much of my concern.

I stood at the door for a little while not knowing whether to go in or not. It took a while before I finally summoned enough courage to actually grab the door knob and the finally pushed it in wards before finally taking the bold step to walk in.

Jasmina stood next to Ruth, holding her by the hand. Her read eyes revealed that she'd been crying for a while.

It didn't take long for her to excuse herself and find her way to the door. She dried her tears on her way out.

Sarah stood behind me. I made the usual introduction,I was quite away it was never the right time for that. Sarah too soon excused herself, shortly after the introduction. She knew when to give us the breathing space we required.

"So how're you feeling?" I take a seat by a chair next to her.
"Still dizzy,tired and weak!" Her eyes are paled and she seemed to have lost a lot of weight.
"Everything's gonna be fine. Just rest now." I wouldn't want to say much that would stress her.

As I rose to talk my leave,she gripes me firmly and then say "thank you for being here!"

***

Jasmina sat at the waiting area,I walk to where she was and sit next to her.

"We where having dinner before the whole thing actually happened." Jasmina said rubbing her eyes.
"She got up and said she just wanted to use the bathroom,the next thing we knew it... everything happened really fast." I could see her tears holding themselves back from falling.
"Trust me, she's gonna be fine." I'm said trying to encourage her. I give her my handkerchief to clean her tears.

"I don't know what to do!" She bursts into tears.
"I don't want to loose her,not now,not when we've got just ourselves." The bursts into a spring of water. I give her my shoulder to cry on.

"The doctor said she has a brain tumor,a really big one. It's not yet certain what's gonna happen next but there's an assurance, but it's just little hope that an operation can be done." Jasmina says.
"She's gonna be fine. I know quite a number of people with tumors that made it through with the help of surgeries and family support." I try to encourage her.

I'm the kind of person that preferred to stay hopefully concerning the outcome of things, after all, that's what she's taught me.

***

After a while, Jasmina managed to pull her act together. I went down to the hospital canteen to grab a bite. Sarah joined me. We didn't eat much for breakfast coz of how urgent the call came.

"So..." I was expecting questions. It's something never far from her.
"The girl back there,is she your..." Letting her complete the statement is like letting her throw stones at me.
"No she's a friend!"

"Okay." She goes quiet.
"The owner of the bracelet?" Starts again.
"Yes!"
"I hope she's gonna be fine though,I think me and her would get along,she seems to be nice." Says as she devours her burger.

I smile.

"Quick question?"
"Sure,ask."
"Do you like her?" Wasn't sure what Sarah meant by the like she was emphasising on.
"I don't think that's something we should be talking about right now." I push it off.
"Just an advise bro,today is all we have, tomorrow might just be too late!" Deep words.
"Just keep them to yourself."
"You don't even have a relationship status and your trying to advise me." Truth is often bitter.

A lot was happening all at once. Wasn't sure weather to feel sober,cry or just leave. Sarah had to go back home to attend to something of importance. She gave me her word to return. It wasn't needed though.

From where I sat, Ruth's uncle has already walked pass me a thousand times. He's also in panic mode but somehow manages to hides his,tries to play it cool but no matter how cool he tries to play it,he's still panicking.

I'm not sure why or how I manage to remain this calm. Maybe it's because I'm not a family member; I'm an idiot for thinking so. The mere truth to the whole thing is that somehow I've managed to convince myself that if Ruth that's going through a whole lot can manage to stay calm,I too can do the same.

After his numerous to and fro movement, he finally decides to take a sit next to me. His looks fine,like his handling everything just well but then his shaking hands gives him away.

I'm not sure he even recognizes me at this point. I use to be the guy that would stop by less than a week ago to check on Ruth and he'd just say she's good. It's not like I'm blaming him or something,but it's just awkward how situations can make people not recognize those next to us.

Maybe I should try talking to him to calm him down. Is that really necessary? I mean, he's a psychologist, knows what to do to keep himself intact but then he's just like me. Even superman was once a man before he became a god.

"She's gonna be fine!"
"Everything is!" I said.
His head was all faced down,he raises it,turns and then gives me a stare.
"Thank you, for that." Wasn't sure what the thank you was for though.
"I've never been use to seeing her like this." His engaging in a conversation with me.
"It's a mutual feeling for everyone. No one's ever use to seeing their loves going through something like this. We just have to stay strong, it's all we can do."

"You must have been really close to her?"
"We we're getting to that." I exhale deeply.
"You know what I do in situations like this?" It wasn't a question that required an answer.
"Ehmm, nope!" He bothers himself to respond.
"Happy thoughts!" That's my answer.
"Happy thoughts?" He's confused.
"How does it help?"
"A positive mind leads to positive outcomes!"
"Ah,I see." Finally gets it.
"I kinda like your sense of reasoning young man."

It's kinda cool knowing that I could do something to help at a time such as this when her whole family was panicking.