The Feeling Of Infinity∞

Thirteen{°} Tale From The Heart ️..

   Gideon

(*´ω｀*)

"I came into the family roughly after several miscarriages." This was the part of the conversation where everything felt so sober.

The first kid  of the family conceived was snatched by the big bully called life even before he stood the chance of beholding the dawn of day light at just about 4 months after birth.

It didn't take long for another kid to be born. He was more lucky than the first, saw the good things life had to offer before eventually being snatched by death.

"The family was devastated for sure. You know, when we all hoped seemed lost, another came into the picture. He was the new hope for sure but he didn't make it out; he died of stillbirth.' I said.

You know, it was like life was playing poker. It offers hope and then snatches it from you even before you get to realize it.

After loosing three kids in a row, the only available option in the book was quitting on the marriage.

"Men, I can tell how difficult things must have been for her." Ruth said. Difficult? I wish that was what it was.

" But you know despite all that, here you are, right?" She said sounding all hopeful. The story was just starting and it doesn't get all better at this point.

Everything just keeps getting depression and more depressing from this point.

"Life gives you hope and then cripples you only when you start believing in it and then mocks you for the hope it offers, the same hope you get to hold on too." I add leaving her to ponder as she takes down everything in this note of hers. We were engaging in a conversation that didn't seem any different from a session with the therapist, after all that's what it is

She goes into deep thoughts, I could tell that head of hers was doing a whole lot.

"Where did I fit in all of this?" I ask myself with intentions of seeking answers to my self driven questions.

I was almost like some kinda hope the moment I was born.

I was fable, weak and unhealthy like other babies. I was born a month earlier than expected. After loosing several healthier babies, one could imagine the fear they must have  had having me around

(ᗒᗩᗕ)

Mom was an asthmatic patient from birth, at least it was what we thought it was before later discovering it was something else. She relied greatly on an asthmatic inhaler for proper breathing and proper flow of oxygen to her lungs.

The water broke much too earlier than expected. At just 8 months and 2weeks I was already fighter, fighting to be born into this world.

The day her water broke, no one was prepared for it. Blood flowed down her legs, she could fill the agony of contraction of  labour dawning on her. Matters where made worse when she couldn't find her inhaler. She gasped for breathe same time calling for help from her neighbors. Dad was at work doing his busy work routine while his wife battled to welcome her boy to this world.

She managed to pull herself outside the house but still struggling for breathe. Screaming for help was one option she definitely opted for. At a point in everything, she got drowsy and from that moment on couldn't tell what happened next.

By the time she regained her consciousness, she was already at the safety of the hospital.  Oxygen tubes where already plugged through her nose, needles already piercing through her hands and her veins where already in a full display.