The Feeling Of Infinity∞

Twenty five// Retreat 🎀

Ruth
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We tried not to talk much of what happened the other day. Though what happened felt unusual and extremely awkward,I managed to wave it off by the mere justification of Jasmina did what she had to cause it felt like the only available option in the book.

Jasmina apologized about giving Gideon the unexpected invitation card and I tried to understand her; playing the understanding little sis as always. The one who ought to be really apologizing though is David. He seemed to careless, everything was fine until he did the unexpected. I'm trying to not blaming him for how things went down cause he's still a child and at the stage where it is expected for him to behave all naughty and so on.

I'm also partially to be blamed for how silly and dumb things turned out at the supermarket. I can't help but wonder maybe things would have been different if I approached him and offer the friendly chit chat, though a brief one the moment I saw him, rather than looking away and pretending he wasn't there at all. I'm disappointed in myself more coz I acted like an idiot but putting the blame on David still feels right.

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I resumed work from a stress free weekend,a relaxing one but that didn't mean it was all a good one. I still had what happened between me and Gideon in my head but still the weekend was a good one.

I had a lot to attend to here in the office. The issue of the invitation card was raised up by one of our senior staff at the office. It wasn't really about me and Gideon though,he just went into the real depth of what the card was about. It was for an upcoming retreat program at hand to help patients and we the staff;from the psychologist to the nurses, grow in a mutual bond of trust. What he said was very much quite different from how Jasmina put things.

I've always known Jasmina to be someone  who's really bad at explaining things, even from our earliest childhood. Either she was over exaggerating matters too much from how things were really told or adding much of her own abstract illusions to how things were originally explained. She's perhaps a pathological liar.

Uncle Ben was supposed to speaker at the retreat,but in his absence, I'd be filling in for him. It feels awesome knowing that I'd be filling in for him and well, it's also an honor to be wearing his shoes too.

The organisers of the event wanted things to be done differently,so, they've made arrangements for we the staff to be able to bring some of our family along for the trip and then some patients too would be allowed to join us for the trip at hand. I think since Gideon is a patient of the clinic,it would he fair to say him joining us is alright I guess, after all he's a patient,a complex patient though.

Though Gideon joining us could be easily justified as him being a patient,but then I couldn't help but wonder what Aunt Femi had to say about things. I'm sure she's gonna think I'm the one pushing him to join us and well I don't think I can handle another of her annoying motherly lectures,I already have much of those on my plate these past few months and none have been helpful to me in anyway.

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                      April 25,2023.

It was the day. Jasmina woke up much earlier than me,got David ready and packed the essential stuff she felt was required for the journey ahead. She only woke me when she was done packing. She did that to avoid arguments; necessary arguments actually. She was taking this retreat thing too seriously, I'm the one suppose to be doing that not her,after all I'm the one participating much in the event at hand not her.