bound beyond fates

chapter 43.

ramdam ko ang unti unting pag usbong ng inis ko habang nakikinig sa kwento ni aziel. kita din sakanya na wala siyang pakialam sa sinasabi niya na lalong nagpagalit sakin. this guy-!!!

"see? it's only a few words and he's already-" naputol ang sasabihin niya nang dali dali akong tumayo at pinaghahampas siya ng paulit ulit.

"ow! what are- ow! stop it! it hurts!" hinawakan niya ang parehong palapulsuhan ko at naiirita siyang nakatingin sakin. sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin at sinubukang hilain ang dalawang kamay ko pero mahigpit ang kapit niya dito.

"how could say something like that?! anong akala mo sa isang tao? walang damdamin para hindi masaktan sa mga pinagsasabi mo?! just how insensitive you are?! " hiyaw ko sakanya at napakunot ang noo niya. i didn't expect him too be heartless.

"you're just like him." mahina kong saad habang nakatitig sa pula niyang mata.

"you're just like him! my father!" nanlaki ang mata niya sa sinigaw ko at napayuko ako dahil ayaw ko tignan ang ekspresyon niya ngayon.

"he's just like you. saying words that can destroy anyone's feeling. he's harsh like you. maybe i'm just like keith before, chasing someone that will never look at my direction. i-i craved for my father's love when i was young. " kwento ko at ramdam ko ang unti unting pagbitaw sakin ni aziel. ramdam ko ang pag iinit ng mata ko habang nakatitig sa heels ko.

"noong bata pa ako, kahit isang picture niya hindi ko pa nasisilayan pero sabik na sabik akong makilala siya. laging sinasabi sakin ni ina na mahal ako ng sarili kong ama kaya naniwala ako sakanya."

"the moment i met him in his palace when i was 8 years old, i learned everything for him so that i'll have his attention since he told me that i'm neither his daughter. coincidentally, i also bump with my uncle there. that's the start of my hellish life in the palace aziel."

" i always force my self to perfect everything they gave me. my uncle who trained me to death and my father who doesn't care about all achievements i've made for him. i thought he will love me soon but that day happened when i was 14."

" father, why? why won't you love me? why can't you look at me as your own daughter?!" desperadang saad ko habang hawak hawak ang damitan ni ama. narito kami ngayon sa aster palace kung saan naninirahan ang aking ama. ako ngayon ay nakaluhod habang umiiyak at nakatingala kay ama na malamig na nakatitig sakin. i'm already at this state but you still continue to stare me with your icy gaze. don't you have little compassionate for me?

"you fool. how many times do i have to say that you're not my daughter and will never be." mas humigpit pa ang kapit ko sa damit niya at lalong napaiyak sa malamig niyang pananalita. akala ko masasanay na ako sa mga pagtataboy niya pero pareho pa din ang sakit na nararamdaman ko tuwing tinatanggi niya ako. wala na ba talagang pag asa? kahit maliit man lang, wala na ba?

"but why?! we have the same eyes and my mother told me that you love me! you even sent instructors to teach me when i was a kid. always tried my best for you to notice me but why can't you see it?! that i'm your one and only daughter! " sigaw ko sakanya at ramdam kong mas lalong uminit ang mata ko pero pinagsawalang bahala ko ito.

umuwang ang bibig niya matapos kong sumigaw pati din si clyde na nasa likod niya ay gulat na napatingin sakin. napanganga naman si eli at kita sa mata niya ang pagpapanic.

"it's my first time seeing your expression like that. did you already realize-"

" stop it." napakurap ako sa sinabi niya at ramdam ko ang panginginig ng kamay ko. ginawa ko naman lahat ang pwede kong magawa, kahit pagpatay ginawa ko. but why is still not enough? when will you look at me with warm and gentle eyes, father?