One Million Tiny Things

Advanced Apologies.

Dearest Sydney,

I know I promised forever. An entire lifetime of your snoring and my car karaoke that you love despite claiming it makes your ears bleed. I wanted that future for us so bad that it hurts sometimes. And I know somewhere deep inside that I'd give up everything just so we end up together. Despite being worried at how whipped you've got me to the the point that my brain is mush I really don't want it any other way. I know you don't either, well as of right now when I am writing this.

I hope with all my heart that you never ever get this letter. That Cecilia has to burn it someday when we are both happily dead. After a passionate love affair like Romeo and Juliet or living together for a million years like Tommy and Tuppence. That's another reason you can never read this letter by the way. It would be terrible if the charm of my bad boy persona cracked before I managed to make you fall for me as hard as I did for you, if that's even possible.

Please don't get mad at the dying before Cecilia part, there is a high possibility you will outlive her but I am trying to explain a concept here. Oh God I am sounding geekier by the second. Better get to the point before I loose more points afterall this letter has to be worth gold if it is to do its job right. What job? I am getting there. For some reason my brain never seems to run out of things to say to you even at the expense of my cramped arm.

So you remember Deidre and Sam right. Okay no, I hope you've forgotten them because that means your reading this a very very long time from now and we had years of fun together. Anyway, they were the power couple of our school when we were juniors. Everyone thought they were going to hold hands to the grave. Well, they broke up a couple months back and apparently didn't say a word to each other despite playing beer pong on the same team last week.

Your probably wondering why I am saying this to you. I really hope you are because that means you found this letter accidently or Cecilia played us both and passed it you, most importantly that means we are not Deidre and Sam 2.0.

So you have probably figured out why I am writing this letter by now, you were always smart. It's one of my favourite things about you. How you figure everything out and share it with the world. How you make sure your opinions are heard but still listen to what everyone else says like they are dictating the winning numbers on tommorrow's horse race.

I love everything about you Syd and I know it will always stay this way. Not even amnesia can take away feelings this strong. I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the way you scrunch your nose but still smile when eating my burnt pancakes, the way your face lights up when you hear the ice cream truck and how you race Anita next-door to it with the same gusto as an Olympic runner but still let her win.

I heard somewhere that everyone gets a single wish in life. Not the petty little finger crossing and lucky streaks but a real one, something that completely flips your life over and makes your head spin over and over like in those cartoons you made me marathon to showcase my undying love for you before we started dating. Here's a fun fact I didn't hate them as much as I claimed and would totally love to do it again, I'm thinking of suggesting it for our anniversary next month. But of course I didn't like it as much as you loved the thriller I made you watch. I bet you had a crush on the Riley guy, I am glad you didn't mention it though because jail would have been a major obstacle to our relationship.

I really do get distracted don't I. Anyway, my wish in life is that this letter does its job. We are gold as far as I am concerned and I can't think of a single sane reason why I would let you go. But I also know we are both hot-headed so I am going to go ahead. If ever we find ourselves in terrible pickle and my future self is too proud or dumb to fix it I hope this letter finds you.

Please Syd I am begging you save me from a life of misery and regret. You love saving people remember, that was how we met. I came to make sure the guy my brother beat up wouldn't sue us and you were busy helping him clean up his wounds although you had never met him in your life. You looked like an angel that day and I never belived I would ever have a chance in hell with you. Did you even make it to choir group that day? I never asked because I am honestly and truly ashamed of the jerk I was and I am pretty sure my defense that it was the best way I knew to flirt with a pretty girl would not even hold up in a court of barbarians.

Anyway, you wouldn't have to do much just go and smile. I am a hundred percent sure I'd crack and apologise first even if you killed a whole town while I watched. Pride kills, not cigarettes. I already saw it once with my parents so I am pretty sure I won't let it happen in this life time. But incase I forget remind me won't you angel. Please Syd. I love you baby. And I always will to my last breath. I hope you will too because I just can't imagine a life without you.

Hugs, Kisses and Buckets of love to make up for everything I messed up until we got to this unbearable point,

Jake.

P.S. I know that Cecilia is adorable and you love her more than me or whatever, She certainly thinks so and I play along even though I know I obviously rank higher on your list of favourite people than a pouty little kid. But if she has given this letter to you prior to aforementioned situation, Wow so formal, please let her know I will strangle her with my bare hands. Okay, I think I messed up the whole formal thing, but the threat is still very real.

P.P.S. I still love you loads and you are the light of my life Syd. I hope in the event of Ceci's murder it doesn't tear us apart.

XOXO