One Million Tiny Things

Ghost Girl

Hey Sandy,
I'm finally back home. The war took a minute didn't it. Everything down here is as quiet as ever, almost unchanged, as if nothing happened.

But things did happen. And they've left their ugly scars all over. Although not obvious like the city with its blackened out buildings, acres of burial grounds and the general feel of death and darkness. Our little hometown has its own little tell-tale signs of trouble times past such as Mama's haggard face that I doubt will ever go back to the lively beaming face I once knew or the neglected fields and yards whose owners were away for years, some never to return.

There are several new faces too some happy to be reunited with their family, others the great war-time romances that actually lasted.

And then there are the memories, the empty spots... places where certain people always sat at church or parked their car... there are familiar faces we've seen for so long missing from youth club, the market or even when walking past certain places where we regularly met certain people by pure coincidence.

Then there is you I guess. The most familiar face I ever had. One I knew better than my own family's faces maybe even my own.

A voice I'd heard screeching at me every day for as long as I remember about every little thing possible. The light of my life that I may never have noticed if our dear politicians didn't just toss us in to a pan of boiling oil and leave us to cook. Some of us never went in until the oil cooled over and were spared its wrath.

A few were undercooked and wish they could have spent a few more months with the constant adventure and adrenaline without a care for the wounded or dead as long as they had something to be happy about. Ofcourse like always there were the perfect cookies who came out well developed and balance much to the awe and unnerving jealousy of the other poor souls who were burnt to a crisp some even going as far as to disintegrate to the point of disappearance.

I miss you Sandy. Wish we'd gotten our forever. The one we dreamed of for so long... the only thing we talked of for several nights in a row sitting in bomb shelters or while saying goodbye before one of us went to fight with our life between our teeth.

Sometimes I sit and wonder in the middle of the night of a different ending. One where we have our happily ever after. Would it have worked? Would we really have been happy forever?

I wonder if life would have caught up with us and dropped its burden on our shoulders and torn us apart. Would we still have thrived without the danger and drama backdrop we used to have.

I wonder if there was no war. How different things would have been. You would have married your betrothed Eden and I probably would have never even realised my feelings for you. Funny how everything becomes so much clearer when life is just flashing in front of our very own eyes. Ironic how the most brutal circumstances bring out the most humanity, trust and love.

Goodbye Sandy... love you loads
Yours,
Rex.