One Million Tiny Things

Missing brother

Dear Carl,
Oh brother dear, what a lot I have to say to you.
Let's start with,
You idiot! How on earth did you manage to wind up in Canada?

In case you forgot, we live in the UK.

You said it was a party at a friend's place and you were staying over the next day to help clean up. Then the next day turned to next week and you were a no-show. Mum was worried, Dad was worried, Heck, even I began to notice you were missing.
None of your friends seemed to know anything of where you had disappeared off to, mum was crying and one step away from calling the police.

You owe me so much, little bro, if I hadn't come down from uni, your missing posters and a squad of police would have greeted you at the airport when you returned?

But, since I showed up and threatned all your friends with bodily harm if they didn't spill, we got the full story. How you hacked into my bank account, booked a flight, confided in Luke, made an alibi and then flew off to Canada to tell some girl you loved her.

You know, if you hadn't robbed me, I would have considered this sweet. Carl with all his player ways finally fell in love. And so in love that he flew all the way to a different continent. 

But since you did steal from me, you better get ready to pay back every cent when you come back. Family is Family, but when you steal all the money I'm allowed to spent per month due to mom and dad's bank restrictions on me, I tend to look past family and start preparing for your murder.

So, Carl, how is Alessia?
Luke spilled her name once I threatened to show up with a gun. (kidding)

Alessia. Pretty name. Who is she? How do you know her? Why does she like a loser like you? Or does she hate you, making you fly all the way there to prove her wrong? Honestly, man, you've left us all utterly confused. You do know that generally people don't elope to Canada to get married right? And, anyway, your only 18, why'd you want to get married so soon. I mean I'm 21 and I don't even have a proper girlfriend. Also, mum would kill you if she couldn't be present at your wedding even if it was in Vegas.

Well, well, we'll all be waiting for you when you decide to come back. Just a teensy reminder that you still do need to finish school so you can't stay there forever. Mom's got a lot of questions for you so prepare for a full-blown interrogation.  I'm already stocking up on popcorn for the drama that's going to unfold when you finally come home.

Still rolling on the floor laughing,
Tyler