One Million Tiny Things

The world we never saw

Dear Ivy,
When we were young, we thought the world was at our feet. We had it all, we were the Kings and the Queens of our tiny world, weren't we? The ones with the big bucks and the big dreams. Years have passed since those days. We've grown up, moved away and begun our lives. We now know what it's like to struggle with rent, we know how hard it is to sometimes afford a few groceries. We know what it's like to be desperate for cash and work long hours. And it's been a long time since we realised that the world wasn't going to fall at our feet.

But it's been an even longer time since I last saw you. Where are you Ivy? What are you doing?

Nobody ever beats a teenager at arrogance but nobody can ever defeat a teenager in ignorance either. I remember sitting by the edge of Caper Bridge, swinging our feet above the water and talking of our dreams. We knew where we wanted to go, we just didn't know how to get there. We wanted to live in big houses with fancy driveways down in L.A. We thought of ourselves as rich. Our town thought of us as rich. But compared to the real world, our town was barely a smidget. And, all of our money barely laid on the lower borders of common people.

As petty high-schoolers, our worlds revolved around the popularity chain of Norward High. Who was Barbara Haningan's newest boyfriend? Who did Alex Carson kiss behind the bleachers? Was Carly Jeffeson, the resident loner really in a relationship with Derek Kale, the famed drug addict. And of course why Ivy Lestrange broke up with Ricky Newman in front of the whole school, start of senior year?

We rarely saw the world out there for what it was. We were shielded, pampered little kids who regarded the world as a magical place with floating dreams and pouring hope, we didn't know that beneath it all lay a landmine, one wrong step and everything you've worked for goes up in flames. We had our own problems, our own society that we'd created. We'd discriminated, divided and driven apart people and by the time graduation came around, some children left school scarred. While others, they peaked in school, and never thought of amounting to anything more. Some people succeeded, some people hit rock bottom, but what I know is that things didn't really work out the way we expected them to.

A few months later, at least in how I remember things, the high school grudges and the teen judgement died down, Barbara Haningan became best friends with Carly Jeffeson and they both went to university together. They became- weirdly enough- scientists.

I saw in the paper last week, that they're prototype rocket had become a full fledged project and that man was literally one step away from conquering Mars thanks to the Haningan-Jefferson rocket. That was a far stretch from what we all believed Barbara Haningan or Carly Jeffeson to become when they were in school.

Take the two of us. The quarterback and the head cheerleader, the epitome of clichés. We definitely hit the roof in high school. We defined the word popular but as the real world approached what the hell happened to us? You broke up with me for Michel Donovan, who FYI owns a garage on the downside of Norward now. I put so much effort into football, that my grades began to fall. And I didn't care. At all. Until everyone around me was getting into this uni or that college. Julia Vendley was even going to Cambridge, a continent away.

And me?
I was kicking my football around. Anybody who tried to give me a sports scholarship immediately ran off in fright once they saw my academic record. Even, optimistic "Everything is going to be okay" Mr. John couldn't see a way around. Both him and my parents eventually convinced me to take a gap year. Work hard, repeat my SATs and do enough humanitarian work to stun any university to immediately accept me as a student.

Surprisingly, seeing the people I grew up with leave to find their purpose while I stayed back in high school finally woke me up. I actually cared this time around and by the time that year ended I was a proud student of a wonderful university thanks to a sports scholarship.

But life wasn't the perfect dream I'd made on top of Caper Bridge. Everything was slowly crumbling down. I was living in a shabby apartement and could barely put together enough money to pay off even that. I kept playing football and that dwindled off the time I had to study and this was all interwined with the 4 hours I spent stacking shelfs at supermarkets and getting the rich their coffee and fried scallops at restaurants.

I majored in Law and after what I'll modestly call 3 years of gruelling hard work, I graduated and got snatched up by Katy Meirre's law firm. Ms. Meirre was a 50- something year old widow who was very loud and unbearably opinionated. She made a very good lawyer, no doubt but was scary when she wanted to be. And with the amount of yelling she did in a day, I was honestly surprised I didn't run for the hills. But as time went by, I got to know her as a really kind soul who has greatly helped me get to where I am today.

Why I ever chose to do Law is still a mystery to me. I know I should have been sure of what I wanted to study by the time I entered university. But, I didn't even know how to fry an egg, let alone what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Despite having been a rather rushed, on-the-spot decision, I've never regretted my choice. I get the inside scoop to so many people's lives, gossip and stories are the basis of a lawyer's life and of course the best part was that it led me to the love of my life.

Claire Meirre, yes, Mrs. Meirre's daughter, and a very well known attorney. We had highs and lows, bumps and pits but we've stayed strong and we are getting married this July.

Maybe this is not exactly what we dreamed of, but it's been a pretty good ride. A few days ago I was going through our old yearbook, when I realised that I never really called up anybody from Norward after leaving school. Or more specifically, I never contacted you again. My parents moved closer to me and we haven't gone back to our little town and frankly, I don't think I'm going back anytime soon.

I don't know what happened to you. Last time I heard of you was when you invited me to your "wedding". At the time, I was far too jealous to show up. But as years passed and I fell in love with somebody else, I realised that I didn't care that you were married happily. I was over the moon for you.
I still did want to meet up. Just talk of the old days over a cup of coffee. Relive the 18 years we lived by each other's side, practically attached at the hip. I wanted to meet the guy who stole your heart and I wanted you to know the girl who held mine. We were best friends for far longer than we were lovers and I guess I wanted to just meet you. That's why I reached out to you, a letter of small talk to ask the two of you to meet the two of us. You never did reply to that.

But then came the headlines and the speculations. I've heard the stories, Ivy, everyone has. How the small town girl snagged up New York's most eligible bachelor. Ivy and Charlie Peteraon were the star couple of all the tabloids until Ivy Peteraon disappeared into thin air. They said you moved back to Norward, they said you jumped into the sea or that you were living up in the mountains like a Nomad.

Charlie refused to even hear your name and the media just kept getting crazier., You were an icon, a symbol as Ivy Peteraon But one that had been stomped over and crushed emotionally until she no longer wanted to be here. You'd been a perfect rose but people had stomped it down and it now lay on the ground with muddy footprints on it.

But I never knew that version of you.

I knew Ivy Lestrange, the charming country girl with hopes too high and dreams too big for the world to hold down. And I know, that somewhere in you, that girl is still there.

I don't know the full story and I know its none of my buisness. But if you are at your old address and you get this, please reply.

For old times sake,
Ricky.