Growing Up

Jamie

I called mum and told her I was going to Jamie's, I didn't have to say anything else, she knew I was ok. The boys didn't follow me, they clearly had no clue where I went. See, Shawn doesn't actually know anything about Jamie, he doesn't even know that Jamie is such an important person in my life. Yes, once upon a time him and Eric were great friends but they got into some falling out over something really stupid. Eric thought it was weird that Jamie and I were so close, but I thought it was so cool that he treated me like his little sister. Although they stopped being friends in the third grade I told mum that I still wanted to see and talk to Jamie, so I did visit him. when I turned 12 I got my own phone and mum gave me his number so I could call him. When Jamie turned 16 I told mum that I was going to hang out with him and he was going to pick me up and take me out, mum was ok with it. She never saw an issue with our friendship, so we continued to stay friends behind Eric's back. And today I'm 16, driving to his house on the outskirts of Philadelphia, and once again mum was ok with it.

I rock up at his door step and knock on the door, tears still flooding down my face. He opens the door and straight away hugs me.

"Hey precious, happy birthday, are you ok?" he asked, that was his nickname for me, it's been like that for years now, I don't remember how it started but ever since it's always been that.

"No, I'm not, it's my birthday and I basically just lost everything because of some girl who used to be one of my closest friends," I tell him.

He walks me inside to the couch, where he grabs a box of tissues, and a blanket.

"What happened?"

I tell him everything, from what happened with Angela at the beginning of the year, to what happened with Shawn and Angela, to what happened tonight. It was an emotional rollercoaster and Jamie was just hugging me the entire time. We celebrated when I told him my mum was pregnant again, and when I got my license today, but everything just tumbled down hill after that.

"I don't know what to do anymore Jamie, I'm so lost," I tell him.

"My first question is, why didn't you break up with the bastard, it really seems like he cheated on you."

"Because, I love him, and even though he hurt me, I can't let go of him."

"Maybe that the issue, because you can't let go of him, you've become stuck, girl, you're in a toxic relationship if that's how you feel. Just throwing that out there."

"How is that toxic? Ok he might've cheated on me, that part I'm still confused about, but other than that he's a nice guy, looks after me, isn't abusive, I feel safe when I'm with him."

"That might be the problem y/n, it could all just be a fantasy, all what you think in your head. If he was a real gentleman, he would've been standing by your side, not let Angela anywhere near him or you. If he was a real gentleman, none of this would've happened in the first place, and because he didn't treat you right, I want to meet this Shawn and teach him a lesson."

"No Jamie, it's ok, that won't be necessary."

"He hurt you precious, and it hurts me that he hurt you, you're like my little sister, I'd do anything to protect you."

"I know Jamie and I appreciate it," I tell him, giving him a massive hug.

I begin to think maybe Jamie is right, maybe it's time that I move on from Shawn, he hurt me and he hasn't been doing much to earn me back, but he told me today he's going to try harder. Maybe we should just have a break, I can think about it all, potential experiment with other guys, or maybe not, I'm just over thinking it all now.

"And this Angela girl, how dare she hurt you like that. She seems like she just wants your life, trying to take everything you've got away from you, what a selfish jackass."

"I know right, and when I found out that my best friend was with that backstabbing bitch I told her, she's more than welcome to hang out with her, she just can't talk to me ever again. I don't want to associate with someone who might help her ruin my life. She's already got enough. But at this point Jamie, I'm left with nothing, I might not even have a boyfriend by the time I get home."

"You deserve better! It's a good thing you got me and your brother, we're never leaving your side. Y/n you are my family, you're like the only family I have left, so I'm here, no matter what you need."

"Well can I have a place to sleep tonight?" I ask.

"Of course, I knew you were going to ask that, you can stay for as long as you like."

"Can I stay forever?"

"Nice try, but I still talk with your mother and I think that she wouldn't approve of that."

"You never know?"

"Y/n."

"Ok, fine I know she won't."

He walks over to the fridge and grabs a big tub or choc mint ice cream, he's been saving for this occasion. He grabbed two spoon and turned the TV on to whatever was the best show to appear, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was the best we got. A little bit of Will Smith and all my worries and tears wiped away. 

I don't recall falling asleep but at sometime during our moments together, I passed out on the couch. I wake up the next morning with a pillow under my head and a blanket over my body. Jamie wasn't around so I assumed he went to bed after tucking me in last night, he's such a nice person. 

I walk into Jamie's kitchen and decide to make him breakfast, to thank him. I make him his favorite, a toasted bacon and egg sandwich, and grab a glass of orange juice, I knock on his door and tell him breakfast is ready, and he walks out 2 minutes later, no shirt on and a few new tattoos I haven't seen on him before. I've never seen Jamie without his shirt on but my god he has muscles and a very prominent V line, it was pretty hot, but I wasn't looking, not at all. Besides, Shawn is my one and only, I wouldn't cheat and Jamie is like a big brother, I could never do that. 

I start making myself some toast and Jamie asks, "how'd you sleep last night?"

"Yeah, pretty good, when did I pass out though?" I asked.

"You were so tired, you passed out on me at 9.30, yesterday had to have hit you pretty hard."

Not gonna lie, it did. I don't feel like going home, I don't really want to see Shawn, but I do, and Cory, I don't know if he's going to yell at me for yelling at Topanga.

"Must have," I joke.

We sat there in silence as we eat our breakfast, every so often I catch a glimpse of him looking at me. 

"What?" I finally say.

"Nothing, just admiring how much you've grown up," he says, I blush but I don't know why.

I realize I should probably get out of there, before something happens and I might regret it. I thank Jamie for letting me stay and tell him I should probably go see my parents. I jump into my car, turn the ignition on and drive away. Do I have a crush on Jamie? The guy who has been like my big brother forever. No... Yes... Maybe? I was going back home to Shawn anyway, I still had the thought of what Jamie said in the back of my head, was I in a toxic relationship with Shawn?

When I got home I saw Shawn car was already here, probably waiting for me to get back. He had no clue where I was last night and still has no clue about Jamie. I walk inside and run into my mother's arms, not crying just happy to see her and to thank her for letting me go to Jamie's. Then I went over to dad and did the same thing. 

Shawn and Cory see me and I don't know what to say. Shawn just walks up to me and hugs me, my arms wrap around his waist and his go over my shoulders, he squeezes me tight to let me know that everything is going to be fine. I separate from Shawn and look at Cor, I start to shake in fear of him yelling at me, but he doesn't, instead he walks over to me, gives me a big hug and tells me, "that's the bravest thing I've ever seen you do."

I hold onto him tighter, "thanks Cor." I didn't want to ask if Topanga made her decision, I just wanted to be in the moment where everyone seemed to be supporting me.