The Light in the Dark ✓

Chapter 12.2 A Greater Good

'Try again,' Marcus said. Iris sighed, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She tried to visualise a prancing horse, the sight she witnessed countless times while working at the stables She willed the light in her hand to take this form, tried to shape it to match the vision she imagined so clearly in her mind. But when she opened her eyes, the light dancing on her palm was still a shapeless mass, pulsing steadily and waving as if blown on by the wind. She groaned.

'It's no use! No matter how hard I wish it to change, it stays the same. I don't get it!'

'It's all right. That's enough for today.'

'But I haven't managed to do anything,' Iris protested. She felt like an utter fool. No matter how many times she tried, she failed every single time.

'Have patience, child. Light Magic is not easy to master.'

'But I can't do the simplest things! Every child here is better than me!' she huffed, frustrated.

'And how long have you been learning it, hmm? A week?' he asked calmly.

'It's almost two weeks now!'

'Do you know how many years I spent studying magic?' he asked. When she shook her head, he continued. 'Most of my life. My talent had manifested when I was about ten years old, so relatively late. Since then, I was sent to the Order to study. It wasn't easy at first. There were kids my age, who had been already studying magic for years, so I was struggling to catch up.'

'You? It's hard to imagine,' Iris mused. Her anger was slowly subsiding.

'I got there eventually, but it required a lot of work and patience. For you, it will be even harder. When the child starts to learn magic right after it has manifested, it comes easy, more natural. You slowly learn to be in sync with your awakening talent. Unfortunately, now it's not possible. Since Mages have been made the outlaws and Light Magic forbidden, there is no way to learn how to use it safely. So, there are countless people like you who, instead of accepting their gift and learning how to use it, hide and reject it. You were convinced barely two weeks ago that you will never use magic, were you not?'

'Yes,' she admitted.

'The biggest obstacle for you right now is right here.' He tapped her forehead gently with his long finger. 'Your mind is still working against you. You lived all these years believing it is a curse, something that should be hidden from view and never used. The mind works like a muscle. It has memory and reflexes you can't always control. It's not easy to change the patterns followed diligently for so many years.'

'So, what do I do? How can I change my mind? I already accepted magic. I want to learn how to use it. I want to be able to help. Please, tell me what else I can do!'

'It's not that easy, Iris,' he sighed. 'I can't tell you how to overcome your subconscious wariness for using magic. It is something you must work out yourself. But don't fret too much.' He patted her back encouragingly. 'You don't have to master everything at once. If we manage to undo the Ritual, you'll have plenty of time to work on your magic.'

'But if I can't control my magic completely yet, how can I help with undoing the Ritual? What if I do something wrong and...'

'Hush. You don't have to worry about the Ritual. Luckily for us, it doesn't need the magic mastery from the participants. The only thing we will need from you is drawing light and keeping it steady. And I happen to hear from Jayden you are already quite good at this.'

'From Jayden?' she asked, raising her brows in surprise. 'You mean he said something nice about me?'

Marcus laughed. 'Yes, he did. Jayden can be very grumpy and antagonistic, but he means no harm. We need all the help we can get to achieve our goal, and he is aware of that. Even if he lets his personal feelings take over from time to time.'