One step at a time

16

Bradly Newman

I had a carefree day even though I knew Lissa was in the hospital, She had always been the one who would care for others even if that meant giving her own life, That's just who she was. She was an angel that's how I saw her, that's how I've always seen her. When we arrived home the door was wide open yet not a sound could be heard. Dad texted a while ago informing me that Lissa had been discharged but was with Blake. Walking through the house it was so quiet so why was the door wide open. I knew I locked it when I left this morning I always double-check. Martin gave me a look. A look I didn't like, A look that there was trouble around the corner. We climbed the stairs together. "That's odd," Martin said first. "Wasn't her door shut when we left this morning?" A chill ran through my body. I absentmindedly closed the door but a foot got caught in the way. I knew that shoe, I should know it I was the one who brought them for Lissa when we went to the mall when she first came back. It wasn't until this moment that I noticed all the pills on the floor. "Martin c-call the ambulance" I whispered as I came across a body, one that was pale and looked nothing like Lissa but I knew it was her I could tell by the birthmark on her left ankle it was one we shared.

"She overdosed again" Martin shook his head but what did he mean by again?. I held her in my arms the tears silently streaming down my face. She was my Lissa, My twin how could she do this to me? I looked at Martin hoping this was still a dream. "There are so many things you don't know Brad" He looked at Lissa sadly, It made me realize that I didn't know my sister, I knew the old her, I loved the old her but the new her was someone darker and I had no idea I mean I could see some signs but I brushed it off we all did. The ambulance had arrived 10 minutes after we called them and explained to them what was going on. I was instructed to do CPR but it wasn't doing anything, Her pulse was low and she was barely breathing let alone moving. I slapped her in the face as hard as I could and she didn't move an inch. This caused more tears to run down my face.

When we arrived at the hospital the tears wouldn't stop, it was like a river flowing at its own accord. I could hear Blakes's voice before he became known, They were just about to leave the hospital until they spotted us. "Hey what's up man," Blake asked as he patted my back. I was turned away from him no man should be crying around other men it's just not manly. He forced my face up to him. "What's wrong" His voice was shaky he was worried about me. "Lissa tried to kill herself she overdosed," I said the words I didn't want to it was just a whisper but he had heard them. "My baby" My mother's scream could be heard all around the hospital. "That's my baby" Her screams got worse. "What happen they won't tell us" My father ran up to me. "She overdosed" Martin spoke for me. "How could she do this to me" I whispered into Martin's shoulder. "You know how I mentioned Noah a couple of days ago?" Martins asked all of us well the boys anyway, we all nodded our heads. "That was her fiancé, she loved him so much, She held so much love for him more than I've ever seen in any couple well he died right in front of her now imagine how that would feel, Imagine witnessing the love of your life dying right in front of you and you couldn't do a thing? That's only one of the hardships she faced would you be able to live with that?" Martin asked all of us but in the end, he just ended up asking himself. "I know I wouldn't why do you think it took her so long to talk to Blake? Or any guy besides Brad and myself? She's scared she's going to fall in love again then the same thing happens she terrified"

" She had a fiancé," Blake asked sadly, I knew of Blakes feelings the only one who didn't was Lissa she was so oblivious of all the steers she received even before she left. Martin laughed. "When she first started boarding school she wouldn't stop talking about you Blake it would piss me off and I'm a gay man I should be living it up but she mentioned you so many times that I wanted to kill you then she met Noah and everything changed she got happier despite everything she was going through don't ask what I'm not the one who should be telling you, I shouldn't even be telling you this" My mother was the next person to speak. "I wouldn't be able to live with that not only facing the fact that the love of your life died but watching it that would kill me my poor baby why didn't she tell us this?" Lissa doesn't tell us anything. "She bottles things up she will talk when she's at her breaking point, unfortunately, today when she was at her breaking point no one was around I should have seen this coming, it happened before I know the signs why didn't I see them" Great Martin was blaming himself.