One step at a time

32

Bradly Newman

What do you do when a storm hits? What happens when you can't control it? Lissa has been doing chemo for a week now and I can't seem to hold it together. I see her pain, She tries to hide it from me but I can see it in her eyes and it kills me each time. How can I be there for her when I can barely look her in the eyes without crying? I didn't want to go to school but at the same time I didn't want to stay home, I have to stay home tomorrow so I might as well go to school today. Martin smiled at me as I walked into the kitchen. Lissa had her head on her arms she could barely hold her head up. Megan walked through the door with everyone else following behind her. Blake had been trying to talk to all of us but we would just walk right past him. I didn't understand why he did what he did but one thing I did know was that Melissa would never forgive him and if she did it would take a lot. It took a lot to even get her to talk to him.

I kissed Lissa's forehead as we walked out the door and she grunted in response. We sat in the car silent at first. "I can't even look at her, She's lost so much weight and it's only been the first week" Tony whispered. "She can't keep any of her food down" I told him. "And when she does eat I have to force it down her throat it's human torture but the doctor told me I had to" A tear slipped out of my left eye. We made it to school Beatrice was waiting for us. She had been hanging with us a lot nowadays she visited Lissa every day after school and just sat there she didn't say anything she just sat there it was weird.

We all sat down at the tree we always did. "Why didn't anyone tell me that she was sick again" Blake came over and no one spoke. I laughed and everyone looked at me weird. "You were there at the hospital, You were there she knew she was relapsing and you go and do that to her get out of my face Blake because I don't trust myself not to kill you" He walked away, Everyone steered clear of our group now. We were the quiet group with only whispers between ourselves. I saw someone coming in our direction but I didn't know who it was so I just told them to go away. "Don't you ever tell me to go away otherwise I will cut your balls off I know where you sleep Lee remembers that" Her small voice was heard and I looked up at her. "What are you doing here Lissa?" She looked so weak but she was still here how she was here I would have no clue.

"I've come to spend time with my friends Lee I know it hurts you to see me like this but this is how I am I need to know you can handle me at my best this is my best if you can't handle me like this how am I suppose to know you can handle me at my worst" Her eyebrows raised. This is her best what the fuck. She sat next to me but I grabbed her and sat her in front of me while I hugged her. I know that some people would find this weird but she was my sister and she was dying. "Melissa when the bell rings why don't you get one of your friends to drop you off at my office and give me some company today" We looked up to see Blake's mother I smiled and nodded my head. I needed to pull my head out of my ass and be there for my sister. "I can come with you now can they come and visit at lunch?" Lissa asked I wasn't ready to let her go but that was fine I had her at home and I can hold her until my heart is content. "Sure" Lissa held onto the Lady's arm to steady herself but she wouldn't let her go.

Lissa turned around smiling and waving to us. "Have a good day you guys, You know where to find me" We all laughed as she walked off talking to our nurse. "We should head to class" I smiled and got up as we small talked between all of us. "Um Bradly could you give this to your sister" I looked up and looked at the girl she smiled sadly. "She's in the nurse's office I think she would rather you give it to her she will enjoy it even" She smiled and walked in the direction of the nurse's office. Blake sat next to me in my first class. "I didn't know what I was doing until I did it and by then it was too late, My head was spinning when I found out that the girl that I have loved my entire life is In a life and death situation I don't know how much time she has left Brad I didn't know what to do I don't know what to do" I shook my head. "Be there for her you need to give her a reason to fight we all do but she will never forgive Blake that's the one thing I know about Lissa once you do something you can never go back she still holds a grudge against Kate and they were best friends since before you two were she hasn't spoke to Kate in over 10 years"

"I've got a lot of making up to don't I" He looks at me as his eyes go glassy. It's been hell for a lot of us. Melissa walked past but stopped at the door and looked at me. Her eyes told me everything, She needed me I looked to the teacher who was looking at me and nodded. but before I could get to her she raced to the rubbish bin and spewed red. Tears were coming out of her eyes as she looked around the room. "I'm sorry I never should have left the house I will clean it" There was blood all over the floor and everyone looked at her she was defeated. Someone came up and grabbed the cloth off her. "No it's my mess please don't" Melissa began crying. Melody looked at her and now I think she believed everything. "It's not your fault your sick Melissa you have no control over it" Blake looked at her and cried. Everyone got up and either hugged her or helped clean up the blood on the floor. While Melissa just cried. I carried her to Martin's classroom and told him we needed to go. "I want to spend the day with my friends Martin please tell everyone to leave and meet at our house I need to be with friends please" Lissa cried she didn't need to seeing her weak like this broke my heart.