One step at a time

23

Melissa Newman

Getting out of bed this morning felt like a chore, Something that was forced even if I had no desire to do it. I knew I was pushing my body too far and I knew it would give out on me sooner or later but today was important to me I was going to find out the truth even if it killed me. I needed to figure out what was wrong with Blake, It had been over a month and he didn't speak a word to me he barely spoke at all and I needed to find out why because I was at my breaking point, The point where I no longer considered him as a friend barely an acquaintance he was just there amongst the crowd blending into the people surrounding him. Hes turning into a person I use to know and that is something that I didn't want. Today I was on a mission, A mission to find the truth and maybe it would heal me or maybe it would give me some kind of answers to why Blake is acting the way he is because it's getting quite annoying.

No one knew of what I was doing no one but myself, This was something I had to do on my own, So the first thing I did when I got to school was look for Beatrice if anyone knew it would be her I didn't want to ask any of the boys because well I didn't want to have that conversation with them plus they would probably make some kind of joke about it. It had taken me 20 minutes to find Beatrice this school wasn't huge but it wasn't small at the same time yet we lived in a small town you would think the school would be somewhat small. There she stood next to her locker looking at nothing in particular. Grabbing her arm pulling her into an empty room. "I was waiting for you" was her first sentence. Did she know I was coming? Could she read my mind? Did she have some kind of superpowers? "Everyone has a breaking point and I knew sooner or later you would give up and the only reason why you're talking to me is because you need to know the truth to let go right?" She should be some kind of therapist.

"Do you know why Blake and I started dating in the first place?" Out of all ways to start a conversation she chooses this? "No and I don't think I need to know Beatrice" I didn't want to know it hurt enough just seeing them together. "We both were in love with people we thought we couldn't have I was in love with James he had broken my heart so many times that I didn't think we could ever be a normal relationship" I had no idea why she was telling me this. "But Blake he was in love with someone so close he thought it would ruin what he had built with her" Again I had no idea why she was telling me this it was getting quite awkward. "I know why you left and I know that it has nothing to do with James he was just an escape route" My eyes widened at her sentence. "My brother went to the same facility as you It wouldn't surprise me if you knew him I was visiting one time and I saw you hooked up to a machine and coughing up blood that's when I knew but I never told anyone its not my story to tell" I had no idea that she knew. "Plus my cousin was your doctor and I asked about you" She smiled at me. "Anyway we're going off-topic" She spoke mainly to remind herself of the situation.

"Melissa, Blake has been in love with you ever since he learned the meaning even before that he was in love with you he just could decipher his feelings" I never thought this was ever possible, I never thought in a million years that this could happen. My dream and nightmare coming true in a span of one minute. "Well that complicated a lot of things" I sighed as much as I wanted to go and find Blake hug him and kiss him I was holding back. "You only live once, You never know when your time is up and when it is you don't want to be thinking about the what-ifs, He doesn't need to know not until your ready but I can tell you still hold feelings for him you always have I seen it back then and I can see it now" she made a lot of sense. "Why didn't he tell me earlier?" if I had known this a long time ago this would be different. "Why didn't you?" she was good. "I never thought it was possible for him to feel the same way" That was the truth it had always crushed me I tried telling him once but I chickened out. I had made up my mind. "I need to find Blake" I finally spoke. "would you help me?" I smiled at Beatrice. "I would love to" James was waiting for Beatrice at her locker.