One step at a time

38

Blake Shepard

It had been two days since we were all temporarily living at Melissa's house, It had hit me like a rock I wasn't one to cry in front of people but then again I'm saying goodbye to the one girl whom I've lived for, The one girl who held my heart, The one girl who I have loved since I could comprehend the feeling. How do you say goodbye to that? How could you form the words? We were all scared for different reasons but they all had one thing in common. Melissa. She was our star she held everyone together whether she knew it or not and I'm guessing not. Melissa could be so naïve sometimes well actually all the time she doesn't realize how much attention she has had on her. She doesn't see the stares she gets. She doesn't know how many people have broken up due to her return. I didn't blame them I loved her before she left but I knew once she returned and looked the way she did I would have competition, I just didn't know I would have to compete with the dead. I knew that Noah would always have a place in her heart, I knew she would always love him but you can love more than one person, I was the other person I finally had a chance with her and I blew it.

Since then it was like a bomb went off in my life, It was like I turned and I had no one, I didn't even realize what I was doing until I had done it by then it was too late I had already ruined everything and she just continued on like it didn't phase her, she carried on like it was no big deal. I was angry at her for that until I realized she had problems of her own. She was battling something I would never want to battle she has to face things that most teenagers don't have to face. She has to say goodbye to everyone that she knows and loves with a smile on her face like it doesn't affect her because if she was to break down so would the rest of us. Melissa Lee Newman is the strongest and most bravest person I've ever come to know and probably would be that for the rest of my life. She has come to terms with her outcome now it's time for all of us to come to terms with it. It's time for us to let her go no matter how hard it may be, no matter how much it hurts because she deserves to know that we will all be okay and that we will all continue to fight even if she is no longer there to guide us.

"Lissa are you okay, Like really okay?" Brad was asking for the truth, He wanted to know what she really felt. "Would you be if you were in my position? I've come to peace with it but that's because I have to I've had no choice I would give anything to stay here and live life but the chances of that happening are nil" She said all of this with a smile on her face no one knew how she truly felt no one could decipher what was going on in her head only she could. "Lissa please" Brad begged, That was something that Brad does not do. "You want the cold hard truth?" Melissa tilted her head. "Yes please"

We were all pleading with her at this point. "I'm always in pain, It pains me more than my treatment to leave all of you I may be dying but I'm already dead inside this is part of the reason why I left in the first place because I knew I would never be able to bring myself to say goodbye I-I can't" She sobbed as the words left her mouth. "I've had to face death twice now and this time I'm so scared that it's gonna win death is finally going to take me right at the moment where I don't want to go but I can't do anything about it Lee" Her tears turned into a waterfall. This was the most I've seen her cry.

Brad held onto his twin sister like his life depended on it, Before we all knew it we found ourselves joining in. "How about instead of goodbye it's a see you later" I found myself saying making everyone laugh. "How about see you soon?" Melissa lifted her left eyebrow in questioning and we all laughed. "No no I shouldn't have said that" we all laughed again as we settled ourselves into our beds. "Blake can you sleep with me tonight" I thought I was hearing things. I must have been. "You gonna answer her or leave her waiting?" Megan asked from next to me now I knew that I wasn't hearing things and she was actually asking me to join her. I never thought this day would come I thought I had ruined any chance I had with her. I smiled as I crawled in next to her. Her frame was so small How did she become so small?