Youngtails Curse (A Warriors Cat Manga)

Chapter 33: I'm Sorry

I breathed in quite a bit to my self, as I was about to sprint fully in to the den to go and help my mate through this, but just as it was that I began to move, I then all of the sudden saw that it just the blink of an eye, SniffEyes then all of of the sudden shook his head at me, as it was clear that he was trying to stop me, and he did not want me to come in at such a key moment in the life of not only me, but also my mate and the kits that she had in her belly.
I began to start to breath in quite a bit to my self, as I blinked my eyes a few times, and I tilted my head at the older medicine cat, all at once, as I saw that he was beginning to start to continue to sort through his herbs, to find the correct one that he needed to help my mate. I wanted to ignore the fact that he had not wanted me to come in, but I also knew that my father had told me once to not stand in the way of a medicine cat, as they knew what they were doing more than I did.
As much as I wanted to help my mate right now, I did not go in to the den to help her at all right now, as I felt like if there were in fact 2 medicine cats, than I was quite sure that she would be fine, and it would be more of a hindrance for me being there in the first place, all at the exact same time too. I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I simply just watched all that was going on right now from the entrance of the medicine den.
I was certainly glad for sure that I had not gone out to hunt for some more prey for sure now, because I knew that I would not want to miss an important moment such as this one, all at the exact same time too. I did my best to try to calm my self down, all at once, as I just simply watched all that was going on, as I saw that SniffEyes seemed to have found the herbs that he was looking for, as he then all of the sudden ran to the far side of the den.
As I looked over in that direction finally, I then began to start to see that my mate looked to almost be convulsing a little bit all the exact same time too, which did in fact freak me out a bit if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I was not all too sure if that was a normal thing for the she cats to do when they were in labor. All I knew was that it did in fact give me a little bit of some vivid memories of my brother, after it was that I had cut his throat open, none the less.
I closed my eyes all at once, as I did my best to try to get my mind, and to try to get my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden got my mind, and I got my focus on the fact that I knew that I had to simply go on ahead and begin to calm my self down, as I knew that they knew what they were doing.
As I breathed in a bit of a soft sigh to my self all at once, I then all of the sudden began to start to hear the voice of RabbitNose, who was of course the younger medicine cat that was of my own clan as she began to start to speak all at once, none the less, as I then all of the sudden opened my eyes and looked over to just where it was that she was at right now, as I at first had thought that she might be talking to me right at this very moment in time as well.
I immediately realized that was not the case what so ever, as it was clear that she was talking to my mate right now, as I saw that she had her head lowered to her, and she was looking at my mate right in to her eyes right now, as I could tell that my mate was panicking right at this very moment in time as well, never the less, once again. I breathed in quite a bit to my self all at once, as I got my mind and my focus off of the rest of the other thoughts that I had in fact been thinking on long before now, none the less, as I did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that she even had to say to BreezeFoot in the very first place any ways, never the less.
"Alright, you need to control your breathing BreezeFoot! Every thing will be okay! We have done this plenty of times before... You breath in through your mouth, and you breath out through your nose..." RabbitNose said to her, all at the exact same time as well, never the less. I blinked my eyes a few times, as I did my best to try to stay as calm as I felt like I could in the mean time, which was quite a bit hard, as I could tell that my mate was in quite a bit of some pain right now.
As I stared at my mate for just a little bit longer, all at the exact same time as well, I then all of the sudden saw that my mate did in fact go right on ahead to my mate, and then my mate did in fact go right on ahead and nod to RabbitNose, all at once, to let her know that she had in fact heard as to just what it was that she had even said in the very first place any ways, none the less.
I blinked my eyes a few times as well, as I did my best to try to stay as calm as I felt like I possibly could still, as I saw that my mate began to stop doing the bit of the convulsing that I felt like I had seen her do a few moments ago, as she now did in fact seem to control her breathing, though I did in fact hear her yell out a sharp bit of some pain, all at the exact same time as well, which almost made me want to cry, as I so badly wanted to be there for my mate right now, and I wanted to help her through all of this.
I stared at all of the cats that were there for just a few moments in time all at once, as I still was not all too sure as to just what it was that was going on right. now, as I was waiting to hear my name called, all at the exact same time as well, as if they needed some help right at this very moment in time as well, though I felt like they were fine as it was right now, as I saw that the both of the medicine cats had their eyes on my mate right now.
SniffEyes gave her an herb, and my mate began to start to bite it to it, as I felt like it must be an herb that had to ease her pain right now, as I could tell that my mate was in fact in quite a bit of some pain right at this very moment in time as well, which was not a pretty sight to see, as I really did not like it when ever it was that my mate was in pain in the very first place any ways, as it felt like there should be some thing that I should do to be helping her, even though I knew that I really could not what so ever right now any ways, all at the exact same time too.
I blinked my eyes a few times, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had in fact been thinking on long before now, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden saw that SniffEyes did in fact move back quite a bit, all at the exact same time too, as it was clear that what ever it was that he had just done, his job was done now, as he simply just seemed to stare right in to eyes of my mate, just as I had seen RabbitNose do a few moments before, none the less.
I simply just stared at all of this with quite a bit of a blank look, and a bit of a blank expression on my face, all at the exact same time as well, as I still was not all too sure about all of this, or all that was even going on right at this very moment in time any ways, all at the exact same time too, never the less, once again. I did my best to just try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, either way, as I then all of the sudden began to start him to go on ahead and speak to my mate, all at once, never the less.
I breathed in a bit of a heavy sigh to my self, as I did my best to try to calm my self down all at once, which was in fact quite a bit of a hard thing for me to do right now, if I was not going to lie to my self either, with all of the thoughts that were even going on through my head right at this very moment in time any ways. I then just began to start to pay attention as to just what it was that he even had to say to BreezeFoot in the very first place any ways, all at the exact same time as well.
As I just simply stared at him, I saw that my mate did in fact nod to him, to let him know that she too was in fact paying attention to SniffEyes, all at the exact same time as well, as SniffEyes then did in fact begin to start to speak to her finally, not all too much longer after all of that, as I then did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he even had to say to her, in the very first place any ways, none the less.
"I need you to push as hard as you can BreezeFoot, so that you can get those kits out! On 3, ready?" He said to her, as he looked at her right in to her eyes, after just what it was that he had even said to her in the very first place any ways at that, never the less, as I did in fact begin to just start to stare at the older tom cat right in to his eyes, all at the exact same time as well, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had in fact been thinking on long before now, never the less, as I then all of the sudden began to start to nod a bit to my self, as it now started to seem like every thing was going fine, and every thing was going normal right at this very moment in time any ways, as this was after all how it was that I was told that kits were born any ways. I breathed in a bit of a soft sigh to my self all at once, as, as soon as it was that I had seen my mate nod back to SniffEyes as a bit of a response back to him, I then all of the sudden began to start to hear him begin to start to speak up to my mate once again, none the less, as I began to start to listen as to just what it was that he even had to say to her once again, none the less. "1...2...3!"
Just as soon as it was that he had yelled it to her, I then all of the sudden began to start to hear my mate begin to start to yell louder than I had ever heard her yell, all at the exact same time as well, as I was a bit lost, and I was a bit worried about it, all at the exact same time as well, as I began to start to breath in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of the rest of those other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now, once again.
As soon as it was that I had heard my mate yell as loud as it was that she had just yelled, as it was clear that she was in the most pain that she had ever been in, in her life, that was when it was that I had been really tempted to jump in and try to stop the medicine cats with what it was that they were doing right now, for I feared that they were hurting her, even though I knew that was not the case what so ever, as I knew that they were simply helping her right at this very moment in time as well, none the less.
I did my best to try to stay as calm as I felt like I possibly could right now, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to feel a cat begin to start to go on ahead and begin to start to rub their fur in to mine, all at the exact same time too, which did in fact confuse me quite a bit none the less, as I did not have a single clue as to just what it was that was even going on right at this very moment in time any ways, in the very first place as well, never the less.
I turned my head over to the cat that had rubbed its self against me, as I saw that it was in fact TinyPaw, as I saw that he had a bit of a calm and cool look on the face of the young tom cat, all at the exact same time as well, which did in fact seem to calm my down a bit, as I then all of the sudden saw him nod to me, all at once, as I blinked my eyes a few times over towards him, and I then did in fact go right on ahead and nod back to him as well.
I was not all too sure as to just what it was that he was even doing right now in the very first place any ways, at first, that was of course until it was that I then all of the sudden began to start to hear the young tom cat begin to start to speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, as I breathed in quite a bit to my self all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, all at the exact same time too.
"I can't imagine how much my mother went through when she had to give birth to me... I miss my mother..." He said to me, as I saw that he had all of the sudden dipped his head a bit low to the ground, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, as I blinked my eyes a bit to my self, all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of those other thoughts, and I began to start to squint my eyes over to the young tom cat, as it was starting to seem like he now might start to be having some regrets on the fact that he had not gone with his mother over to the two leg place that it was that they were even going to go and live at, all at the exact same time too. I breathed in quite a bit to my self, all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts once again, as I then all of the sudden began to start to see that the young tom cat shook his head quite a bit to him self, as he then began to start to speak to back to me once again, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, and calm down all of those other thoughts, as I then once again began to continue to listen as to just what it was that he was even saying to me. "BreezeFoot will be fine... She is a strong she cat..."
I looked at the tom cat for a few moments, as I cracked a bit of a smile on my own face, all at the exact same time too, as it did in fact make me feel quite a bit better as to just what it was that he had even said, as I knew that he was in fact correct with just what it was that he had even said, as I knew that my mate was in fact a very strong cat, and that I needed to calm my self down, even though I could still hear her whimpering in pain.
I blinked my eyes a few times to my self, all at once, as I then all of the sudden began to start to go on ahead and turn my head back over to my mate, all at the exact same time as well, as I did in fact see that she had quite a bit of a freaked out look on her face right now, which was for sure not a normal thing for her at all, all at the exact same time as well, which did in fact freak me out quite a bit, all at the exact same time too, as I did my best to try to calm my self down once again, in the mean time.
I simply just seemed to stare at her for just a little bit longer, as I instantly began to start to notice that both of the medicine cats were no longer looking at her right now, and they were no longer paying attention to her at all right now, all at the exact same time as well, as it did in fact begin to start to confuse me quite a bit, once again, as I saw that they seemed to be talking to each other right at this very moment in time as well, quite a bit quietly to one another at that.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, which was in fact quite a bit hard once again, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once, and I then all of the sudden began to start to hear the voice of my mate, as she then all of the sudden did in fact begin to start to talk to the both of the medicine cats, to get their attention back on to her, which I felt like they should have been doing in the very first place any ways, none the less.
I stared at my mate, as I tried to keep a straight look on my face as I did so as well, even though I kind of felt like I was in fact dying in side of my head right now, if I was in fact going to be for real with my self none the less, as I breathed in quite a bit to my self, as I did my best to try to stay as calm as possible, as I could hear the pain in the voice of my mate, as she went on ahead and she continued to go on ahead and speak to the both of the medicine cats, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
I still so badly wanted to run in and help her, but I still knew that my help would realistically do nothing at all right at this very moment in time as well, as I simply just tried my best to try to stay as calm as possible, and as calm as I felt like I could, as I then did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that my mate even had to yell in the pain that was in her voice right now, to the both of the medicine cats in the very first place any ways, never the less.
"My babies! Are they going to be okay?" She yelled to the both of them, as I could tell that she still was in a lot of pain right now, but it seemed to be over rid by the fear that she had in her voice right now, as to the fact that it was clear that she was quite a bit afraid as to the fact that she was afraid that she was going to lose the kits that she had in her belly in the very first place any ways, for the last few moons never the less, all at the exact same time as well.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, as I did my best to try to not think on the dark thoughts that seemed to so badly want to come in to my mind, and to come in to my head right at this very moment in time as well, as I felt like I could not help but to think back on the story that PikeStar had told me about his own mate, who just so happened to be my grand mother, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
I blinked my eyes a few times, as I shook my head a bit to my self all at once, as I could not start to see a little bit of a worried look start to appear on the fact of TinyPaw all of the sudden, all at the exact same time too, as it seemed like he was now all of the sudden taking back as to just what it was that he had even said to me just a few moments before hand, all at the exact same time as well, never the less.
I breathed in quite a bit to my self, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at once, as I then all of the sudden did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to go my mind, and get my focus on the fact that had to do more with the fact that my mate was clearly in a lot of danger right now, and she was in a lot of pain, and based off of the looks of blankness on the face of the medicine cats right now, it for some reason did not seem like they were taking their job all too seriously right now.
I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had in fact been thinking on before, as I blinked my eyes a few times, all at once, as finally, I did in fact see that RabbitNose did in fact finally decide for her self, that she was in fact about to go right on ahead and begin to start to speak back to my mate luckily enough for the both of us, as I then all of the sudden let out a bit of a soft sigh of relief to my self, all at the exact same time as well, for some odd reason or another.
I knew that I was not relieved at all, as that was of course due to the fact that I did not have a single clue as to just what it was that was even going on right at this very moment in time, in the very first place any ways. I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self how ever, as I did my best to try to calm my self down as best as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of the rest of all of those thoughts.
I then got my attention on the fact that RabbitNose, the medicine cat of Windclan, was now in fact speaking to my mate, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time as well, as I did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that she even had to say to my mate in the very first place any ways, as she did in fact begin to start to speak to her, all at the exact same time as well, none the less, at that.
"We are going to have to cut the kits out of you... It will be dangerous, and it might make you lose your own life, but it is the only way that we can save not only you, but also the kits..." She said to BreezeFoot, as she broke the bad news to her all at once, as it felt like my heart had then all of the sudden began to start to stop, all at the exact same time as well, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was even going on right now for one thing, but also the fact that I was not all too sure as to just what it was that it had meant.
She was telling me that they were going to have to cut in to her belly to pull the kits out? That would for sure kill my mate right? At this point, I was more worried about the fact that I was going to lose my mate, over the kits if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I still had yet to even think of a single name of any of the kits just yet, in the very first place any ways, as I felt like I was no where near as attached to them as I was attached to my mate right at this very moment in time too.
Either way, I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I still felt like I could not help but to think that this had been a lot of my fault, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I had been thinking in the very first place any ways, if I was going to be for real with my self, as to the fact that I wanted to have kits with my mate. I mean, at some point I knew that I would have liked to, but I felt like it was way too soon for all of that, as she was too young to have kits for one thing, just as RabbitNose had told me, but also the fact that we had done this in the middle of the leaf bare, all at the exact same time too.
I felt stupid, as I just began to start to curse my self out quite a bit all at once, all at the exact same time as well, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was going on with me right at this very moment in time any ways, none the less, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those thoughts all at the exact same time as well, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear the voice of my mate, as she did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to speak back in a bit of a response to RabbitNose finally, all at the exact same time too, none the less.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, just as it was that TinyPaw had told me to, as I knew that I did not want to think on dark thoughts at all, what so ever, right at this very moment in time as well, as I gulped quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once, as I then all of the sudden nodded quite a bit to my self, all at the exact same time too, to let my self know that I was in fact paying my full attention as to just what it was that my mate even had to say back to RabbitNose in the very first place any ways.
I stared at my mate, with the same look of fear, and the same look of worry that I had on my face long before now, in the very first place any ways, as I was not quite all too sure as to just what else it really was that I should really even be doing right at this very moment in time any ways, other than that, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear my mate continue to speak to the medicine she cat, as I did in fact begin to start to continue to listen as to just what it was that she even had to say to her in response, in the very first place any ways, none the less.
"What ever! Just do what ever it is that you can save my kits, that's all that matters at this point!" She yelled to RabbitNose, all at the exact same time as well, to let her know that she was in fact giving her the go ahead to go on ahead and do what ever it was that she was even about to go and do in the very first place any ways, which was of course the fact that she was about to tear in to her belly, to try to rip the kits out of there, all at the exact same time as well.
I began to start to wince quite a bit to my self all at once, as I could hear a lot of fear, and a lot of pain in the voice of my mate, as I stared at her for just a little bit longer, as I then all of the sudden saw that my mate then all of the sudden did in fact turn her head over to me, all at once, all at the exact same time as well, as it was clear that she had known that I was here with her all along, all at the exact same time too, very much to my own surprise, and to my own dismay, as I did my best to try to calm my self down.
Very much to my surprise once again, I saw that my mate did in fact begin to start to smile towards me, though it was in fact a bit of a sad smile if I was not going to lie to my self either, as it kind of seemed like she knew some thing that I did not, which did in fact once again begin to start to freak me out a bit, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could right now.
Just as soon as it was that I felt like I had, that was when I then all of the sudden began to start to see that RabbitNose then all of the sudden began to start to pull her claws out all at once, as she then all of the sudden dig them right in to the belly of my mate, as my eyes then all of the sudden went wide in quite a bit of some shock, as I was in fact quite a bit freaked out, and I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I should do right at this very moment in time any ways.
I blinked my eyes a few times once again, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear my mate screech in quite a bit of some pain all at once, as it was clear that RabbitNose was doing just as it was that she had said it was that she was even going to do in the very first place any ways, to get the kits out of my mates belly, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, once again.
It was quite a bit hard if I was not going to lie to my self how ever, as I knew that my mate was in tons of pain right now, as I could see her bleeding profusely right at this very moment in time as well, none the less, as it was clear that RabbitNose was doing just as it was that she had said she was going to do, in the fact that she had said she was going to have to cut in to the belly of my mate, to get the kits out of there none the less.
I blinked my eyes a few times, all at once, as I did my best to not run over to her, to try to stop her, as I did in fact know that she knew a lot better than I did as to just what it was that she was even doing right now, in the very first place any ways, none the less, as I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now.
My mind, and my thoughts were all of the sudden beginning to start to feel quite a bit empty, as I seemed to almost hear a lot of ringing all around me, all a the exact same time as well, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was even going on with me right at this very moment in time, as I seemed to feel like every thing was going so fast, and it all was going in such a blur right at this very moment in time any ways, as I did not have a single clue about any of it at all, what so ever, once again.
I just seemed to see stars all over the place, as I just was thinking on nothing at all right at this very moment in time as well, as I could see a lot of movement going on right in front of me, right at this very moment in time as well, but I did not pay a single lick of attention to it what so ever, as I simply just seemed to stare out in to the darkness, and the bit of an abyss that was right in front of me right at this very moment in time as well.
The movement seemed to have stopped finally, but the emptiness in my thoughts did not seem to have stopped at all, as I still was just not thinking on any thing at all, what so ever, right at this very moment in time any ways, as it really felt like for some reason right at this very moment in time too, that there was in fact some thing that was in fact missing from me right at this very moment in time as well, but I still was not all too sure as to just what it was that it could even be right at this very moment in time any ways, none the less, once again.
I felt some thing push up against me, as I was not all too sure if it was a cat that was trying to get my attention, or if it was a cat that was trying to calm my down, and try to calm my empty nerves right at this very moment in time any ways, none the less. Either way, I felt like I did not care a single bit what so ever, right at this very moment in time any ways, as I just kept on going on with the same dark and empty mind set that I had been thinking on not all too much longer before now, once again, never the less.
I breathed in quite a bit of a heavy sigh to my self all at once, as I then all of the sudden began to start to feel the nudging begin to start to get a little bit harder right at this very moment in time too, as I then finally seemed to have woken my self all at once, as soon as I began to start to notice it none the less, as I blinked my eyes a few times all at once, as I then turned my head over to just who it was that was even doing that right at this very moment in time any ways, never the less.
The cat that just so happened to be doing as such a thing of course, just so happened to be TinyPaw, as it was clear that for some odd reason or another, he was trying to get my attention on to him right now, which confused me a bit, as I tilted my head over towards him right now, as I saw that he did in fact have a bit of a dark and a bit of a grim look on his face, as if I had missed some thing whilst I had in fact been stuck in my head.
I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I saw that he had his eyes, and he had his focus on some thing besides me right now, as it seemed like he had simply been trying to get my attention on just what it was that he was looking at right at this very moment in time as well. I turned my head over to just what it was that he had been looking at, as I saw that there was in fact a she cat that was standing right in front of me right at this very moment in time as well, none the less.
This she cat, I could not tell what it was that was the look that she even had on her face right at this very moment in time any ways, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I did my best to try to calm my self down in the mean time, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to nod to the she cat, to let her know that I was in fact paying attention as to just what it was that she was in fact clearly about to go on ahead and say to me, all at the exact same time too, never the less.
I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self all at once, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to begin to start to hear RabbitNose, as she did in fact begin to start to begin to speak to me all at once, as I did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was it was that she even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, none the less.
"We tried YoungTail... I... I... I'm sorry..."