Meant to be

The Four Year Mark - Evie

I watch the twenty two candles in front of me burn while those around me start to sing happy birthday and I feel a tad uncomfortable.

Do I just sit here and smile?

Do I make eye contact?

Focus on the cake?

Sing along too?

I've had twenty two birthdays how have I not mastered what to do during this time?

Taking a deep breath I just put on a smile and look around the table thinking back to my eighteenth, where we sat around this very table.

My eighteenth was an important part of my life and to my story. The same people who'd been there four years ago are still here, smiling at me.

But of course there's been some changes since I was eighteen.

Like Callie, dressed up in an adorable yellow dress that Mason bought her for today. Sitting in her high chair next to Magali's both hypnotised by the flames, I hope we don't have future pyromaniacs on our hands. There's been quite a few changes in regards to my family, my career and lifestyle but one of the biggest change to me is Mason Clarke. I'd seen him only as my brother's best friend, a gorgeous specimen, someone who I lusted  after.

Now?

I don't think I can go a day without speaking to or thinking about him.

Mason's not just Michael's best friend, he's my best friend too.

Someone who gives me carnivorous butterflies with eye contact alone.

When he holds me in his arms, nestled close to his heart it's not just calming, it's grounding.

Like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

His kisses over time haven't dulled in the slightest, I still feel breathless, my heart still beats wildly as his lips leave mine and he marvels at me.

My body responds perfectly and accordingly to his touch, his own body meshes together with mine.

As if we're meant to be.

It's taken some time to process it but the truth keeps staring me in the face.

Over the last couple of months since Christmas it's been getting harder to ignore.

Harder to subdue.

Mason Clarke, has my whole, entire heart.

I just need to grow some ovaries and just tell him.

When Nonno died, Mason had been my rock, he held me when I cried, held my hand throughout the whole funeral and listened whenever I wanted to speak about him. Even as he was dealing with his own grief, Mason made it clear to me that I'm important to him, and he's important to me.

I trust him as much as I trust myself.

What I thought would be maybe a couple of hook ups at most then eventually fizzle out, became something meaningful and lasting still strong almost four whole years later.

The song comes to an end, their faces all expectant, closing my eyes I blow out the candles without making a wish, que sera que sera and all that jazz. Taking the knife I cut the lemon drizzle cake into equal slices and distribute to the hungry mass. Once everyone is fed I start my birthday tradition, grabbing two glasses of chocolate milk this time.

"Mase" I say and he moves closer to me, his green eyes make contact with mine and I feel like putty.

"What's up?"