Chapter 48

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Xander

"How are you feeling?" I ask the raven-haired girl. Her tired, grey eyes meet mine and she tries to smile softly.

"Better now. What about you?"

"I'd be better if our family looked less like we're on our way to certain death and more like we used to on missions." I can remember the excitement and anticipation almost painfully clear. All of us used to love going on little trips. For me it was because I got to spend my time with my family and be surrounded by positive feelings, Atticus loved to see us succeed and get closer to making the Nation a better place, Layla was in it for the thrill, Calista adored making clever plans and witnessing them play out perfectly, Sorin wanted to prove himself and it helped Naiara coming out of her shell and face her fears. It was beautiful. We felt invincible.

Now we're all too exhausted and weighted down by guilt to feel any of that.

"Me too," she says sadly before meeting my eyes slowly. "Do you think it will get better?"

"I'm sure of it." I take hold of her hand and squeeze it tightly.

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