We got to the place where I always see her. We was standing outside a room. 'Okay stay here and I'll go in' I say 'Okey sure I'll wait here!' She smiles.
And I get in the room and I sit down in note of the chairs. A couple of minutes later my therapist come in the room.
'Hello y/n!' She says sitting down 'Hi' I says back. She sits down comfortable. 'Okay, tell me all the stuff that happens since last time we met' she says.
And I tell her. I tell her about the nightmares getting worse again, no sleep, panic attacks, insecure.
We talk for a while and it feels better. Not as good as talking about it with finn but this woman was still great, she was a real therapist. She wrote out some sleeping meds for me so I could get some sleep at least. We said bye and I left. Sadie were strong outside.
She stood up and walked to me 'How'd it go?' She asked 'Great actually' I said 'Before we leave I need to take out my sleeping meds so I can sleep at night' I said 'You having trouble sleeping?' Sades asked. ' I haven't slept for 2 days' I said giggling. 'Then we better get those meds!' She giggled and we started walking.
We walk up to the place we're you take out meds.
'Hey Robin! I'm here to take out some sleep meds!' I smiled at the him behind the disk. 'Oh hey y/n! I'll get it for you!' He said smiling and he turned around and walked into a room. After a couple of minutes he came back with a ask of tablets. 'There you go y/n!' He said hanging them over 'Thank you robin! These will SAVE me' I said giggling 'Ohh dear y/n know that by now!' He laughed and me and sades left.
'You know what guy?' Sades said as we walked out the building. 'Yeah, Ive been here pretty much for pretty long!' I said giggling. ' I almost know everyone that works there!' I added. 'Oh god y/n, we gotta stop that. We want them to say 'long time ago, VERY long time ago' sades said giggling.
'Yeah but I also like behind here I'm not gonna lie.' I said. 'What do you mean with that?' Sades asked while we went in the car and she drove. ' you know' I paused. ' I like being here. It's like a second home. I know everyone and they know me! And they understand what I'm talking about! And they always got what I need!' I said looking out the window. 'I'm feeling offended' sades said while laying on hand on her chest and fake sobbing to be dramatic. 'NOO!! Sades you are a good person talking too but your like my friend too. I don't like having my friends as therapists.' I said giggling. ' yeah I get that don't worry y/n!' 'But uhm- I'm always there for you when there not!' She said smiling. 'I know sades, I know your always there for me' I said smiling back.
We finally got home and inside, I got up to my room. I sat on my bed thinking, I didn't tell Sades everything we said. I took out the paper from my pocket and I looked at it.
- no stressing. - run max 2 times a week. - sleep for 8 hours no matter what time. - eat 5 meals a day. - only gym 1 time a week. - have a time at a day when I do nothing for 4 hours.
My therapist gave me this. I need to follow these rules for 2 moths. We need to get myself. My body, my head into the right slide again. I've been completely uncontrolledly for everyone around me and for myself. I can't even handle myself.
Then I got a mail from my modeling coach.
'Hey y/n! There is this really important and big modeling show and they want you in it! I'm sending you a list of what you need to do this last 2 months before the show!!' This is not gonna end good.
I looked at the list.
- run 5 times a week. - gym 4 times. -eat 3 meals a day. - 10 hours of sleep at night. - always have something to do.
Fuck. What am I supposed to do? My therapist says whats good for me. But I need the modeling, that's my job?'
Finn came in and I quickly putted the paper away. He sat down. 'What was that?' He asked looking curious 'Nothing, nothing really!' I smiled. ' tell me' he said.
And now I had to do it again. Use my friend aka boyfriend this time as an therapist. Fuck. I really don't wanna do this. But wait? What if I just like aka for advice? Like I give him two options. YOUR A GENIUS Y/N
'If two people says two differ stuff you need to do. The first one says don't to this. The other one says do this. And you need to do both, what do you do?' I ask him.
' you do what you think it's the best' he look at me. ' this is not helping' I say and sigh. 'Maybe you could explain?' He asks. I sigh. This is not what I wanted. 'My therapist got me this' I handle him the paper. He nods. 'And my modeling coach send me this' I handle him my phone. 'Health or wealth?' I said. 'I mean you decide' finn says ' okay I guess I'll just run 9 times a week, eat nothing, gym 6 times a week, don't give a shit about my sleeping meds and stay up all night skating with you and Jae?' I said looking at him.
'Okay princess I didn't mean like that' finn giggle. 'What do I do?!' I say banging my head to the wall. 'Wait- I got an idea! I will follow my modeling list now and I'll do the show. Then I will call for being sick or something and I have too come the next two months later and I will follow her list then!' I said smiling. 'That was actually smart love!' Finn said kissing my cheek. 'IMMA GENIUS!' I yell 'Don't get too excited now y/l' finn laughs 'IMMA FUCKING GENIUS!' I yell and I run downstairs. Finn comes after.
The rest of the afternoon i was ion front of the TV looking at series. And beating the rest in some video games. Pretty fun! I look at the clock. 7. I need to take my meds. I walk into the kitchen. Finn follows me.
' hey handsome' I say as I take a tablet out of the box. 'Hey pretty!' He put his hands on my waist and hugs me from behind. I take a glass with water and swallow the tablet. 'I'm gonna sleep like you at night now!' I said giggling at finn. 'Hey! I sleep great' I says ' I know what's why I said it imma do that too now with this' I hold up the box.
Me and finn goes upstairs. I can feel the medicine working. I can't walk straight. 'Fuck imma fall' I say giggling. 'You done drugs?' Finn laughs 'No but I do have taken sleep meds' I giggle.
We go to bed and I'm on my phone for a while. Then I lay it away and cuddle finn to sleep. It was piece full being able to sleep like this. I smile for myself.
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Y/nofficial: great hang with Sades today! <3
Sadiesink: love yaaa Finnwolfhard: still feeling offended😭 ^ bet you do Jaedenweasly: miss the night hang y/n! ^ ik me two! We'll have to do it again!
Girl in the picture: Sadie
I'm sorry I've uploaded ONE today, this one. I alway upload 8 chapters a day but I've been in the car for 7 hours and I can't write in the car cause I'm getting car sick fast. And then four other hours I was outside and didn't have my phone with me. And two other hours I was going my hobby. I lost 13 hours but I still wanted to drop AT LEST one chapter. It feels weird cause I always do 8 a day but yeah. Sorry <3
