chapter 9

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Renjun stood on the balcony, looking at the dark sky. Seeing droplets of rain started to drop little by little, he sighed. He hates rain. It does make him feel lonely. It does make him want to be hugged by someone, be in someone's arms. Thinking about that, the guy that he met a few weeks ago suddenly came into his mind. How his muscular arms wrapped around his petite body, how warm his touch on Renjun's lips, how deep his eyes were looking into Renjun.

'Ah, why suddenly I thought about Jeno?'

He avoided Jeno as much as he could. He is scared that he will start to like the man. Renjun is nobody, just someone who worked in the kindergarten and did not have anything that he can give to anyone. He did not want to open his heart to accept feelings or deliver feelings to others.

Sudden call from Jeno last evening made him wonder why Jeno acted that way. Not once nor twice the guy kept on calling his number but more than that. What he wanted from Renjun? Another help? Renjun can take care of Sungchan, he swears to God that he can, but to meet Jeno and to be with Jeno, he did not have strength to do that. He might fall harder with the man's kindness- or the person himself.

'This is wrong Renjun. You don't deserve to be loved, Renjun. You can't fell for man again,'

The rain started to pour heavily, making his random thoughts go away with the rain. Renjun stepped back from the balcony, entering the guest room before closing the sliding door of the balcony. As soon as he turned his body towards the bed, Yangyang was sitting there, brushing his sleeping son's hair with his fingers. "How long you sit there?" Renjun took a seat beside Yangyang, but did not notice when Yangyang entered the room. "Not too long. But I don't want to disturb you. You seem to have a lot of thoughts in your head," Yangyang replied, eyes still on Chenle's sleeping figure.

"Uh, hmm, Chenle sleeps really early today. He must be tired after playing a lot with me," Yangyang changed the topic, and did not want Renjun to be uncomfortable with him. He knew that Renjun was really tired. Yangyang wanted to help him badly but knowing how Renjun hates when people feel sympathy or empathy for him, he never tries to cross the line between them. Both of them stayed silent. Only the sound of the rain was breaking up the silent night.

"You should rest, Renjun." Yangyang said, more likely to whisper as he did not want to wake Chenle up. Renjun hummed in response, smiling warmly at Yangyang. "You too,"

Before he left the room, Yangyang turned his back towards Renjun's direction. "Renjun, if you have anything to tell me, I will always be here for you, will listen to you. Uh, good night,"

"Yangyang, good night. Thank you," As soon as Yangyang closed the door, he sighed in relief. He ran into his room, closing the door before locking it. He sat behind the door, burying his face onto his palms. 'Ah, why does he look so pretty? Why is my heart beating for him again? I want to hug him so bad when he stood on the balcony, ah dumb Yangyang. You should be brave for real,'

'Yangyang, you can do this. You should make Renjun believe in love and have trust in you,'

-

"Hyung, you should not ask me to do this? How dare you?!" The guy sighed as soon as Sicheng laughed at him. It was Sunday and Sicheng thought that it was the only opportunity for his brother to do this kind of work. Well, the children will come again tomorrow after the weekend and no one can help Sicheng to tidy up the kindergarten. Renjun and Chenle were visiting Kun, Jaemin and his family went for holiday in Jeju, and he was left all alone to clean up the whole kindergarten. Uh, it was all Jaemin's idea.

Lucky for him he has a grown up brother that also brought his friend to help him clean up the mess.

"Shut up Guanheng, you talk a lot," Sicheng rolled his eyes before walking towards the front door with a long water hose with him to water the plants. As soon as Sicheng disappeared from their sight, Guanheng sighed, looking at Dejun who had already flopped down onto the couch. "You brother is so annoying, I'm seriously tired."

Guanheng joined Dejun on the couch, laying his head on Dejun's shoulder. As Dejun already used to that type of clingy Guanheng every time they were alone, Dejun just let him be.

"Dejun," Guanheng called the other's name softly.

"Hmm?" Dejun took a glance at the guy that still laid on his shoulder comfortablely.

'Why does he look so pretty from here?' Guanheng thought.

"Nothing. I will vacuum the carpets, I think you should sanitise the children's toys. Faster, we should not waste our time," Guanheng stood up, leaving Dejun without telling him what he wanted to say.

Dejun froze in his place, looking around. Comfirming Guanheng already walked away, he hitted his head many times, keeping on repeating the word 'dumb' to himself.

'He doesn't know I like him, does he? Ah, dumb Dejun,'

-

Jeno sat on the end of his bed after sending Sungchan to sleep. The next day he will return to his job as an idol once again after a week of day off. For this weekend, he thought of asking Renjun and Chenle to go on a short vacation together. Why? He just thinks Sungchan needs to be the same age when they go on a trip. Or maybe, it is just an excuse for him to cover what he actually wants.

He wanted to meet Chenle's dad so bad. He missed everything about the Chinese male including certain things about Renjun that he saw in his 'dream'. How pretty Renjun was on top of him was always his favourite sight and he hoped to see that again although in his dream. Speaking of the dream, Jeno knew something was off since that day when he became drunk at Renjun's house.

'Is it really a dream? Should I ask Renjun? But how?'

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