We were too close to the stars~

Can't Control Myself - One-shot

Based on "Can't Control Myself" by: Taeyeon - SM Entertainment

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Drip, drip, drip.

Plop, plop, plop.

I slowly become aware of my surroundings, looking around. On the flour, hands bloody, hair messy, clothes ripped. I remember.

You mess me up, so bad, yet I can't get away from you.

Hit, hit, hit.

That's all I remember of you; breaking things, smashing them, scarring me, then acting.

And that's what I do. I follow your steps, ignore my real self; living with my imagination.

Feels like a mask, pull it on, smile for the camera, hide your scars; nothing a little blush can't fix.

You repeat, day after day.

Hit, hit, hit.

Day after day.

My fictional character loves you, you love her; but she's not me. She's me if we were ok, she's me if we didn't act, she's me if I would've left you.

So slowly, I blur the line. I'm no longer me, I'm her. The one playing with me, the fake version of me. I see no difference in us, we are one.

And it goes on, day by day, like a play.

Smile, smile, smile.

Laugh, laugh, laugh.

Grin, grin, grin.

Giggle, giggle, giggle.

Wave, wave, wave.

Is that all I am?—I realize a month later. Smile for the people? And I realize, I had blurred the lines, so slowly, so painfully. And I tried to get away from you; I really did.

Try, try, try.

It's all I do.

I try to leave, but you find me.

I try to hit you back, but you catch me.

I try to stop you, but you find a way to start over again.

And so I do what is best, I show you in front of the cameras.

I show what you are. You snigger in front of them, expect me to laugh along; all I do is cry.

People look concerned, quite fake it is; they look for drama, regardless.

I shout, scream, punch and you show yourself.

You hit me back.

And that's all it takes,

For me to show,

What you are.

Just like that,

I've stopped you.