We were too close to the stars~

The past - One-shot

"Want to play?" I ask, hoping for a positive answer.

"No, I'm too busy. Sorry." She says apologetically.

Of course she would've said that. I've grown accustomed to all my friends denying me, telling me they're too busy visiting each other or too much work.

Sometimes they'd even say they don't have much energy to play. I'd accept; 'cause why would I refuse? It's their life and decisions. I can't interfere; even if I catch them playing with others when I join the game.

Oh, but why cause me such pain? When you could simply reject me; it would make both of us light-hearted. I could know your intention and you would guilt over mine.

"It's fine." I said, I always did.

These are the friends I've grown accustomed to. The ones who tried so hard hiding how much they disliked me; felt uncomfortable around me. Or, at least, they could've tried hiding it.

I rest on my rainbow-sheeted bed, tracing random shapes on the pillow, as I put my head on my arm.

I think back to my best friend, the so-called 'cigar'. I miss her too much. But, of course, we had to separate ways.

My mother had never grown fond of her, "She's a bad influence on you." She'd say.

Little had she known how much she affected me by separating us. She was my soulmate, my platonic yet so romantic love, the only one I'd care about in this hellish universe, the only one I showed affection to.

She helped my when I was vulnerable and saved me from my self-conscious moments.

We'd only known each other for 2 years, before my mother randomly read our text messages and found out her secret, her sexul orientation.

"Cut off all ties with her, and never speak to her again. Or else there will be consequences." She scolded me.

I nodded and went back to my room, instantly archiving her and deleting her contact. But, loved her too much to let go of her this easily. I messaged her in Instagram and twitter, instead.

But, mother found out. She was worried for me becoming "gay." Had she not known I was lesbian, she would've sent me to conversion therapy, or even worse, disowned me; but she hadn't, which was why I was still living in one piece.

"Mother, it's just a joke. We're not gay and we're just saying those characters look really cool. See? I even talked about boys, not just girls." I'd try to persuade her.

But to no avail, she monitored me 24/7; made sure I didn't do anything out of line.

And, just like that, I lost all contact with my best friend.

"What days they were. Back when I genuinely had a friend." I chuckled pathetically, as I came back to the present time.

I turned and rested on my left, closing my eyes as I had flashbacks to when we spent time with each other.

"The past was far too long ago, for me to fret on anymore." I told myself as I shred tears to sleep.

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514 words

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