Kpop AMBW Imagines

Namjoon

~~~~~~~~~~~~

" She's amazing Y/N .
She's so sweet & beautiful.
My heart swells when I think about her."
Namjoon rambled on the phone.

" I'm sorry Namjoon, but I have to go".
I interrupted.
It was getting harder & harder for me to listen to him ramble about a girl who's now in the spot that I desperately wanted .

" I'll talk to you la-".
I hung up the phone feeling the tears well in my eyes .
The girl was indeed beautiful & had the sweetest personality.
I couldn't hate her even if I tried .

Namjoon knew of my feelings , but hadn't mentioned them ever since our conversation in my favorite cafe .

~~~~~

" I don't want us to be more than friends , Y/N .
I just feel that it will ruin things ".

My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest & crumbled right in-front of me . My words were stuck in my throat & I could only nod my head in response .

Now I fully understand what my mom meant when she told me that love hurts .
No matter what......Love Will Always Hurt .

The rest of the brunch he did nothing, but talk about her .
Her personality
her good looks
her intelligence
& her wealthy family .
I held back my tears & agreed with him about her . There wasn't a single thing to hate about her .
She was the epitome of elegance & perfection.

~~~~~~~~

I had been making up excuses to meet him since then . I'd talk to him on the phone & then make up an excuse to hang up. I'd tell him that I was too caught up in work to hang out .
Everything was an excuse , so I wouldn't have to hear him boast about his crush .

He oddly hadn't caught on yet .
Maybe he's just too caught up on her to worry about what's going on with me. I wrote our names together surrounded in a heart in my diary like a middle schooler stupidly in love .

All for nothing ....

Just so my heart could get crushed .
Just for the world to swallow me whole while also reminding me that nobody would ever love me like Namjoon did .

~~~~~~
I couldn't sleep ...
I couldn't think....
My thoughts were consumed by him.
When I closed my eyes & opened them; he was the only person I'd see .
My dreams & my nightmares were filled with his face . It had been months since me & him had talked .

He all of a sudden stopped calling & I accepted that .
He had other people to keep happy that weren't me .
It hurt so so so much more than I'd ever think it would . My mom's words meant so much more now because they were 100% true .

~~~3 years later~~~

A love story never happened between us & even though it felt like the end of the world; the heart does heal over time .

Watching him walk down the aisle holding her hand didn't hurt as much as I thought it would .

Seeing the invitation in my mailbox didn't crumble me again like I thought it would .

During the reception, he grabbed me close & hugged me ; begging me to never lose contact with him again . He told me he missed me & how I had grown so much over the years .

I was proud of myself for partially getting over the longest crush I had ever had on anyone .
I was proud that my heart didn't flutter when he called me beautiful or when he pecked me on the cheek while greeting me .

I mentally put our memories in the back of my head & filled it with the thought that he was only my best friend ..... He would only ever be my best friend.

& That was the way I coped with my broken heart.....

~~~~~~~
" Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don't. "

This is my 1st one shot of 2022 ... 💓