OMG OMG OMG !! I thought Sarah, you need to calm down but I could not believe that my idol Demi Lovato was coming to my hometown of Quebec. I just knew I needed to get tickets. I was so fricking excited but my moment of happiness didn't last long as the negative thoughts began to take over.
My mind was racing and all that was replaying over and over again was "what are you going to do if you don't get tickets, cut yourself .. isn't that your answer to everything these days" and "why would you deserve tickets, you are useless and you couldn't be good at anything even if you tried". Nobody knew that I felt this way. On the outside, I faked a smile and pretended like I was ok. It was just easier than talking to someone, I mean my family and friends or should I say, my lack of friends never took the time to listen to me and if they knew the truth, they would treat me differently.
If they loved me in the first place, they would be there for me through the good and bad times. "Why would someone love you, you are not good enough" were the words that ran through my head. I just wished I could turn these thoughts off for just one minute. I decided to listen to Demi and I realised that her music helped to quieten the negative thoughts .. well at least for now anyway.
As the last song of Unbroken finished, I broke down into tears. My mom started calling me from downstairs and I quickly wiped away the tears, threw on makeup to hide the red blotches and went downstairs. My mam was giving out about how I didn't do this, this and this. I tuned out and wondered how she couldn't see the pain that I was in. Afterwards, I ran upstairs and looked at what I had written earlier and it read " My life's a mess but Demi is giving me strength".
I know Demi wants us guys to Stay Strong so as i was lying down in bed that night, I tried to think positive thoughts but the question of whether I would get tickets or not kept creeping through my mind and I began to get restless.
P.S This is my first time writing a fanfic so I didn't really know how to start :) Let me know what you guys think :)
