DISCOVERY ➴ Chrollo x Reader

XII. Death Wishes

I saw his chest shaking by the corner of my eye as his breathing quickened its pace, "Quite disappointing that you're only bold every now and then, this would be much more amusing otherwise."

The spider folded the map and covered his lips, the roundabout drew closer and the idea of not knowing where I should go prickled my skin. How was it such a pet peeve...? I needed to know the route in advance or else driving just felt like I was paddling aimlessly in the ocean.

I turned to face him, "What exit?"

"See? It's not hard to be obedient, is it now?" His pale fingers spread the map open, the paper rustled over his clothes. I tightened my hold on the wheel as I entered the roundabout, no blinkers, no direction, my heart hammering in its cage of bone.

"Exit?" My voice quivered. Did I have to beg for directions? Was this what my life had become? I delayed my death to go through as much humiliation, panic and desperation as humanly possible. A prelude to any sort of post-life space? With my luck lately I could only sigh.

"This one." I jumped, turning the wheel and feeling the car swerve slightly. Thank fuck there was no one else on the road.

The asphalt line elongated, raising over a mount in the distance, I tightened my lips and sped up.

"No longer wanting the answers to your questions?" His baritone smooth voice cooed a reaction out of me, but I knew better than to play with fire. To entertain him was simply a downwards fall to whatever sort of purgatory dimension waiting for me.

"Curiosity killed the cat." My eyes remained on the road, on the dashed white rectangles that split two lanes.

"And satisfaction brought it back." My hands suddenly turned incredibly interesting as my E/C eyes followed the knuckles and skipped over to where the tips appeared on the inside of the wheel.

"I haven't had much satisfaction lately, it wouldn't be enough to bring me back."

"'S that so?" He crumpled the map and tossed it on the dashboard before turning to face the window.

I hummed and closed my eyes slowly, hoping it'd be enough to shake away the itchy dryness of the air.

A good half an hour passed by. At the top of the hill the road sank back and disappeared as it curved around the beginning of the next mountain.

"Did you truly get to your friend unscathed?" My breathing picked up, I had hoped for him to be asleep, reviving that day was not something I should be doing. Not while driving, not when I didn't even know how I was hanging on a thread of sanity.

"What friend?" Maybe he'd drop it. Maybe I didn't have to- to think- Why was acid running up my throat?

"The one that was two blocks away from the auction site." The daylight seemed to fade, along with the streets to be replaced by dozens of corpses, human parts, blood splattered and a red backpack. "Well?"

I blinked and the road was there, albeit distorted and shaky, a whisper left my lips, a simple "yes".

"How?"

"How?" I cleared my throat, and gripped the wheel, reality, I gripped reality, focusing on the white dashed line. "Hoh- How?"

"Yes. How did you manage to get there without dying? What route did you take? How did you hide yourself?"

Route? "I-" What did it matter? "I don't." My voice failed me, the white rectangles that should be very visible as it was a sunny day, growing sunnier by the second, were faded. I felt the warmth of the sun but how could its light not reach me? I could only hear rushed panicked breathing, my nausea was growing stronger. I needed to brake. I needed to stop the car. The road was gone.

My feeble limbs struggled to push the brake pedal down, I steered out of the road. I made out "why... stopping" from a faraway voice. The car came to an abrupt halt and my forehead landed on the worn leather. Was that me hyperventilating? Why did I feel like all my bile was ready to sprout out of me? Oh god.

How much time passed? I could only wonder.

"So?" He pressed when I finally managed to raise my head and bask in the light for a second.

"So what?" I turned to meet dark eyes, an indifferent mask of a face, every muscle relaxed, the sunlight made his green earing shimmer and he leaned forward as I focused on his figure.

"How did you make it there alive?"

"I- just did? I don't know, no one attacked me." His eyes narrowed, his slim fingers ran through his dark messy hair, and he took a deep breath.

"You don't remember the route either do you?"

"I- No." Liars would eventually get caught but if I had to relive the whole – the thing to tell him which streets I took... I'd rather die. When it happened there was adrenaline coursing through my veins and a goal, now... now with time to taste the horrors I don't think I could ever do it again.

"Drive. You've wasted time. Lunch is being delayed by your pause." I took a deep breath and ignited the car, my legs felt like jelly as I floored the gas and led us down the road as fast as I could.

Was he dissatisfied with my answers? Was he going to kill me? Why was he so interested in this anyway? How could I find the words to describe that failed rescue mission?

Reah... I left her there, abandoned on that large sea of corpses, alone.

I was sure it'd come to haunt me again, sooner or later, guilt and despair would lull me into a worthless death.

A warm tear slipped over my cheek, my hand swatted it away instantly, mourning was for the living and I was only awaiting for the day the Spider decided to reap my soul.

"You're waiting for death." The spider- better yet, Chrollo, stated.

"Yes. Yes, I am. You'll give it to me someday, won't you?"

"That is the plan."

> Author's note: I know I haven't updated this in ages, forgive me. T-T