DISCOVERY ➴ Chrollo x Reader

XXXV. Terror

It was getting darker and the sticks and gravel started to stab into my bare feet as my embarrassment and adrenaline wore off. Even as I winced at every step taken, the idea of returning to Chrollo so soon was daunting. I would never. My belly growled for food and my headache was roaring, I didn't think I could fish... I should've learnt it the day before! I cursed myself as I roamed about, until I found a large bush with berries, I couldn't quite tell if they were dark red or purplish in the dim light. 

I squeezed one with my finger, it burst, and its juices slid over my fingers to my hand. It was probably ripe. Not that I knew much of random berries. Perhaps it was poisonous? Not edible? How hilarious would it be if I ended up eating a poisonous berry instead of having my life taken by Chrollo? How would he even kill me? I hoped with a swift and quick move, a single cut... 

Ah~ well, I licked the juices off my fingers, they were sweet, and it tasted like a mix of blueberry and raspberry... I deemed it good enough, and started picking berries, placing them onto an impromptu holding place created by my shirt as I pulled the lower hem upwards against my body. The sticks breaking under my feet sounded more skeletal at night, and I couldn't quite know where I was... but I followed the sounds of flowing water to the creek and washed my berries there, one at a time. I plopped the cold washed ones onto my mouth. It was better than starving... they were sweet and juicy... I ended up going back to the bush and picking another batch, repeating the process until I felt my hunger mildly quenched. 

I walked by the riverbank, feet underwater, as I moved in the direction I thought our camp was. Crickets buzzed nearby, and a sudden lurching movement had me jumping further into the water, heart beating fast, eyes zapping between all the dark spots in the large tree line. Nothing like the absolute terror of the unknown, for no matter how one tries to rationalize it... it'll always make hearts beat faster and brains stay alert...

I felt nauseous, head snapping from side to side, trying to understand what had caused the sound. Images of large monsters, wolves perhaps, ready to jump and maul me flashed in my mind and I started walking faster, hoping that I could find the cracking fire, the illuminated clearing, and the criminal who could probably fight a pack of wolves.

A large figure appeared right next to me and I screamed, falling backwards onto the water. I saw his grey eyes in slow motion as the splatter of water rose above me. He was a wolf, alright... I wondered where the idea of a spider had come from... It didn't match Chrollo at all. His chuckle was low, and my beating heart felt like giving up on me after so many oscillations of pace. 

"Why did you do that?!" My short-lived rage left me in a whine, and I gasped when I noticed he was holding a rather long dead animal. "What-" It was a rabbit! "How did you-"

"Take a deep breath, Y/N." Chrollo's voice was smooth, and he held out a hand for me. I stared at his long fingers, pads slightly callused for a while, before I lifted my hand, dripping wet, and clasped his. He shivered, and I decided to ignore the tiny voice in my head that found that quaint. "Dinner will take a while, I need to cook this-" He wiggled the dead rabbit has he yanked me off the ground with a single pull. I found myself colliding with his bare muscular chest and backing away as if I had been burnt by the mere touch of his skin. 

"Hm... I need to hang my clothes to dry." A sigh left my lips as I walked behind him to the campsite. I groaned, leaning closer to the fire to chase the shivers away. Chrollo started his task of skinning the rabbit on the edge of the clearing, so he didn't taint the ground most used by us. That was considerate... 

"What is it with you? Why are you acting different?" Chrollo spoke loud enough for me to hear, and I stared at his back, muscles moving and shifting along with the unstable warm lighting cast by the fire. He didn't seem to feel the strain of his squat as he continued to slide his knife over the small animal. 

I remained quiet, deciding this would be the prime time to strip and lay my clothes as close to the fire as possible. I started with my baggy trousers that were dripping and creating a small mud puddle where I stood. 

"Y/N." His tone was of warning, but he didn't turn to face me just yet. I found a long stick and buried an edge into the ground, so it could hold the weight of my trousers. I knew it wasn't sustainable to ignore and mistreat Chrollo for long... he was in a position of power over me... even if it seemed murky now... Even if he...

I was pulling my shirt over my head when he turned, having made quick work of the rabbit into thin slices of meat. I found myself wanting to die of shame, but... living was important. I didn't know how or why... Why was it that I wanted to live? Was it more that I didn't want to go through the trouble of dying? Maybe that was what it was... I hung my shirt similarly to my trousers, using the mud to stabilize both poles further. I dashed to the river to clean my hands and when I returned, skin bare, underwear dripping still, I had decided to put my apathy to good use by stripping the last pieces of clothing that hid my parts away and hanging them along with my shirt. 

Chrollo looked me over, with one eyebrow flicking upwards, yet still silent, still waiting for my answer. I took a deep breath and forced the words to flow out, "Were you... on those streets killing people?"

"No." He answered simply, holding my gaze. "I was inside the building."

"Did you order them to kill everyone?" I didn't have to elaborate on who they were. His friends. His group. His troupe. The other criminals he led.

"I told them to wreak havoc, for a good friend of mine that had just passed. He really liked it..." His tone was sincere, the pain in his eyes real as he stared into the fire and reminisced his friend. Well... fuck... Why was he being truthful? Why was he showing his humanity to me? How could I... ever conciliate that with my disparaging feelings?