DISCOVERY ➴ Chrollo x Reader

LIII. Wait ⚠ {ending 4}

⚠ SPOILER WARNING ⚠

THIS CHAPTER WILL SPOIL EVENTS OF THE NEW MANGA ARC. SO IF YOU'VE ONLY WATCHED THE ANIME, SPOILER WARNING!

⚠ SPOILER WARNING ⚠

He wanted to stay with me. He wanted to. I should be happy for the tiniest admission of feelings. I should. I wasn't anything special. I didn't have those powers he and his friends had. I wasn't even a good criminal. I didn't fit in his life but he wanted to stay with me.

My tears just... never stopped falling, in fact, they seemed to increase with his confession... Because deep down I knew..."You want to, but you can't."

My hands had stopped kneading his back and I took the time to wipe away my tears, not that it would do much, new ones kept falling, streaming down my face.

He sighed and I just knew I was right. This was my life... not some fairy tale. I wouldn't have a happily ever after... I clenched my hands close in an attempt to stop them from trembling... I just couldn't stop my reaction to this... My hands returned to his warm back, now slightly wet with my tears and continued the massage.

"Y/N, you don't have to-" He turned, ready to get out of my grip but I sunk my nails into his skin.

"No. If this is the moment to act selfishly, let me do what I want. Let me have my moment, my special memories, before you abandon me. Let me..." I pressed down on a particularly hard knot. "Let me have something to remember you by." Was it too late to map out his body, to memorize what he felt like? To memorize his taste? His ragged breathing under my attentions?

"Can't I be selfish as well?" He whined, I imagined his pout against the pillow and chuckled between the tears.

"You mean you haven't been acting selfish all along?" My lips touched his nape softly.

I ran my knuckles down his spine and he groaned, "What do you mean?"

My lips trembled, and my vision turned blurrier, "You came back..." A sob escaped me, "You came back, knowing you'd leave... me again..."

"Ah..." He shuddered under my touch and turned his head to the side, so I could hear him better, "would someone selfless have stayed away?"

"Maybe..." I took some time to get my thoughts in order and to calm down. Taking a deep breath after another, I finally elaborated, "If you were selfless, you would've watched from afar and left once you noticed I was trying to move on..."

He pushed me away and my heart nearly sunk, but he simply turned to lay on his back and pulled me back against him. I had never seen his face so serious, so focused on me, my cheeks warmed, and I looked away as he asked, "Should I have done that?"

"No," was my immediate response. I didn't have to think about it. How could I? He was here now... it had been a year and I hadn't moved on... not in the least... he was always in the back of my mind if he wasn't running the show.

His hand landed on my chin and turned my face to meet his as his other hand pulled one of my legs over his body, making me straddle him. "Why not?"

"I like you selfish. I wish you were more selfish and cared only about yourself..." I grimaced, knowing that I was disregarding the safety and wellbeing of his friends for my own temporary happiness. "We could live on the run..."