Prove It [Odell Beckham Jr. love Story] (First Sight Pt. II)

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"We have her in custody as of right now. We're charging her with murder, kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, and a few other minor offenses." the detective sat in a chair next to Odell and I. He was sitting at the bottom of the hospital bed while I was laying down. "What about that?" I pointed at my son. "You have any specific charges for what she did to him?" the cop let out a sigh then shook his head slowly.

"All the pain she caused you and your family ma'am, I can guarantee you I'll do everything in my power to make sure she never sees the free world again." with that, he exited the room.

Odell didn't speak or look up from the ground not once since he got in here. I honestly didn't care though. I didn't have time or energy to console or try to make things right at this point. I wanted my baby. I wanted to hold my baby and to have him cry and to have me race around here trying whatever to make him stop. I wanted to rock him to sleep and give him kisses. I can't even kiss him. He can't lay on my chest or even sleep next to me in his own little crib. This is the worst feeling I've ever felt. I tossed my head back and let out a sigh.

"You hungry?" he asked, finally speaking.

"No." I rolled over and tried to shut my eyes.

I felt his hand travel up my arm and his breath against my neck. "Alana, we gotta talk." I shook my head. "Not right now."

"Yes...yes, right now."

"Odell please." I turned around to face him. "I don't have the energy to talk about this."

He looked at me for a second then nodded. "But Lana," he spoke and his voice began to grow shaky. "I really...really don't feel good about any of this right now."

How could he? How could I? Nobody does. But we all have to get over it.

"Dell, I can't be that person for you right now. I'm sorry." I turned my back to him again then shut my eyes. I felt his hand leave my body and his presence leave the room.
~

"So you'll think he'll be able to come home once he gets a little bigger?" I asked the nurse who had came in regularly to check up on me. It had been about 10 days. I was feeling much better physically. Mentally, however. It does something to me while I'm watching my baby in this condition. Plus I haven't slept since I woke up after the C-section. I guess that's not totally true. But the little hour naps I've been taking sporadically throughout the day don't do much compared to an actual nights sleep. I'm just so worried that something will happen in the middle of the night. I don't know what, but I'm still nervous.

I haven't talked to Odell in four days either. He came by yesterday and sat with our son for a couple hours, but we didn't speak to each other. He wasn't doing too well either. I could tell by the look in his eyes.

"That's usually the case with premature babies, Ms. Cardenas. But these circumstances may be a little special. I honestly wouldn't know, but the next time the doctor comes by I'll be sure to ask him." I nodded then laid back down. That wasn't a no so I guess there's still hope.

"Okay, please don't forget to ask him."

Odell Beckham Jr.

I was working out in my gym, thinking about my son.  And every time I pictured his little body in that hospital, I grew increasingly angry. He didn't deserve this shit. He didn't deserve any of this.

I dropped the weight and took my shirt off then tossed that to the side too. I went up the stairs and headed for the shower. Dre was following behind me. I shut the bathroom door and turned the shower on. I stepped inside and just let the water hit me. I wanted Lana, but she hates me. She got a right to. I don't think the kiss is the reason why Sasha went nuts. I think she was already crazy so I don't blame myself for that. I do feel that this whole situation wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for everything I did. I stole so much from so many.

I broke Lana's heart so many times.

I ruined Jarvis' relationship.

I slandered my family's reputation.

And now I'm losing my son. I might be losing the one person I had been fighting for since the beginning of last year. The thought of all that makes me feel sick. If I'm being completely honest, I just want to use again. Not regularly. Just one more time so I can forget some of these feelings I have now. I want my son though.

I heard my phone ring. It was in my pants pocket. I opened the shower door with the water still running behind me. I searched the ground for it and when I found it my mom's number flashed on the screen. I know she's worried about me. She don't need to be though. I want to use, but I know not to. At this point, it wouldn't make a difference if I was sober or high, my life was still fucked. Might as well try not to self-destruct. One half of my heart is telling me to let it all go while the other is still hanging on to hope that Junior will be off all his machines and we'll be able to be family.

It sucks that it's on a fantasy right now.
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You guys think Odell is gonna start using again?