Adopted by Stucky

Part 22- not again

-⚠️ warning, dark thoughts and self harm⚠️

You woke up with dad and papa still asleep, you slipped out from in between them and got into your wheelchair
You went to the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror and your reflection wasn't you, like it was you but you weren't yourself,
you didn't feel motivated to do anything,
you didn't want to see anyone,
You just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up,
as all these thoughts piled into your head you slowly got more and more angry
you don't deserve any of this,
they should of just left you at the orphanage,
you're a monster,
you almost killed Nat,
you don't deserve to be alive anymore, then the thoughts started to get darker and darker and you started to get self-harm urges
Just do it,
Kill yourself,
I want to feel something,
I can't feel anything,
You stood up and out of your wheelchair, even though Bruce told you, you shouldn't. You walked over to the mirror and punched it as hard as you could and it shattered everywhere, creating a loud bang. You instantly fell to the ground sobbing
"Why y/n, why" you said to yourself through tears
The loud bang woke up the whole compound and everyone burst into your room to see papa and dad trying to get into the bathroom but you had locked yourself in,
"Y/n, open the door for us please" Nat said
"Come on doll, it's ok" dad said
Just do it y/n let them in
No don't they don't love you
Yes they do
No they don't
YES THEY DO!
NO THEY DONT!
It was like you had an angle on on shoulder and a devil on the other, this didn't make it any better though, if anything it made it worse, you grabbed a shard of the glass from the mirror and glided it firmly along your thigh, it was deep but not enough to need stitches, you did this 4 more times, two on each leg, it hurt but you didn't care, it gave you a sense of relief that you could finally feel again
You sat against the sink and just let yourself cry as much as you wanted and you just let yourself bleed, you closed your eyes to stop you seeing the blood dripping down your leg as it scared you but you knew it would all be over soon, just as you thought you had escaped Tony had JARVIS unlock the door and they all came in, took in the situation and rushed to your side
"Oh hunny" Wanda said
You just sat there, sad and stuck in a hole that you felt you couldn't get out of,
"Can you guys all leave please, give her some space, me and Buck can do this" Papa said
They all obeyed and left, leaving it to just you, dad and papa
Papa grabbed a towel, and went and put it on the bed, dad picked you up and followed, he lay you down on the towel,
Bruce knocked on the door and brought in the alcohol and bandages then left you guys to it, you propped yourself up against the head board as you looked at your dads
"Sorry" you mumbled you tried to avoid eye contact
"Hey, look at me" dad said, you met his gaze "don't apologise for the way you feel, but will you let us clean these up" he gestured to your legs, you nodded you pulled your shorts up, you just couldn't stop crying, the tears just didn't stop coming
Papa grabbed a cotton bud and so did dad, coated in the alcohol, they started cleaning the cuts, you winced as the alcohol stung the raw skin
"Please tell us what wrong sweetheart" papa said, you looked out the window
"I want to tell, I really do, I just don't know how to word it" you said
"We understand, we could just get wanda in and she can read your mind and tell us?" Papa optioned, you thought about this for a second
"I don't want to put her through this papa, she doesn't need this" you said "let's see what she thinks" you added
They brought Wanda in and they had already explained it to her, and Wanda agreed she said she would do anything for you "I would rather everyone be there, not just us four" you said "I feel, everyone got to experience me suffering they should get to know why" you explained, they all agreed
"Only if you're sure doll" dad said, you nodded, Wanda left to the lounge to explain to the others what was going to happen, dad and papa finished clean your cuts and dad gave you one of his hoodies and it went down past your knees so it covered your legs,
Papa picked you up and gave you a really tight hug, it made you feel really safe and you relaxed in his arms, dad came and hugged you from behind and you stayed there for a bit
——
—————————————————-
——————————————————
—————————————————————————————————————————————