tag, your it/jaden hossler

bribe

sorry for the slow update i have been on holiday!! :D gonna start now again tho.

he looked at me in confusion? i felt all eyes on me in the room. i stayed quiet i felt myself trying not to cuddle him. i couldn't take this anyone i put my head on his shoulder and my arms around him.

jaden: oh kaylen! hey what's wrong?
kay: i just want a cuddle.
jaden: oh come here.

he held me like a teddy bear and we cuddled for a bit. i felt eyes on me in the room. i got off him and just had my head on his shoulder.

jaden: oh guys i've gotta go pick mads up
josh; make sure you come back.. without mads!

he agreed and he side hugged all the boys and he got to me, i looked up at him while sitting. i got up and i put my arms around his neck and we hugged. when he let go i let go and he went.

griffin; what was all that about being all touchy with jaden like you like him or something?
kaylen: you know i still like him griffin.
bryce: you were so cuddly i forgot that you two weren't even together anymore.
kay: not being rude guys but you don't have to remind me it still hurts.
griffin: this is pissing me off!! get over that bastard he only ever uses you!!
kay: but i love him
griffin: HE RAPED YOU AND SO MUCH MORE HOW DO YOU LOVE HIM? YOU ARGUE EVERYDAY WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH YOU KAYLEN IM DONE TRYING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER BETWEEN YOU AND HIM I DONT CARE WHAT HE DOES TO YOU ANYMORE.

i got up and stormed away to his room or something i'm not exactly sure. man that hurt.

the room was silent it left with my heart pounding and my eyes filling up. everyone was just sitting there looking at me to say something.

kay: what? what are you looking at!! i know what he done i love him not for what he done. i've been with him since i was 16!! barely even aged and now i'm in my 20s let me live by myself i didn't ask for your help! i'm glad you guys are here for me but I LOVE HIM.

i got up and i sat outside on the doorstep i needed a minute outside. i saw the sun setting and the light breeze touching my skin. i had my head in my hands when i saw 2 foot standing in front of me.

jaden: mh what are you doing? crying?
kaylen: yeah and ?
jaden: you're a pathetic slut aren't you.

i didn't lift my head when i grabbed my face and lifted it up towards him. he wiped my tears with his thumb and looked down at me.

jaden: stop crying like a baby and go inside.
kay: leave me alone i wanna be alone.
jaden: go lock yourself in your room or something you always used to do that.

he smirked at me while his hand let go of my face. my face immediately dropped when he walked and sat next to me. it was silent until..

kay: what's the real reason you're being like this one minute your nice and then the next your mean to me or just toxic.
jaden: i love you.
kay: what
jaden: i love you.. that's why i am like this i don't know how to act towards you.
kay: right.

jaden: mads is at home otherwise i would say come home i miss you being at home.
kay: i miss home too..

i looked up from the floor looking at the neighbourhood. the trees danced in the light breeze and the sun set nicely beneath the clouds.

jaden: what happened after i left
kay: i argued with griffin.. he started questioning why i still like you and shouting at me saying he's never gonna be here for me when i need him when you do something bad to me.

jaden: he can be a dickhead but he'll be there for you trust me.. he won't leave you like that! c'mon you know griff he says some stuff.
Kay: i don't know jaden

i looked at him and then i looked away again playing with my nails.

jaden: it's going to be alright.
kay: mhm well if you want to say that then
jaden: hey don't be so hard on yourself.
kay: yeah well i'm gonna head inside i need to use the bathroom.

he stood up and helped me up and i slight grin appeared on my face. i walked through the giant door and i didn't make eye contact with anyone i just sped walked into the bathroom. my bathroom. i locked the door and broke down straight away.

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM!!!!

i opened my hidden cabinet where i keep all of
my.. drugs,alcohol,sharp objects and pills.
i grabbed the blade from my sharpener and i lifted up my leg. i put the blade on to my leg and started cutting my legs while crying. praying for my life to come to a end one day. my legs were bloody and full of cuts. it stung but it felt sort of good in the pain way. sort of.. pain relieving.

once i was done i got a wet cloth and wiped my legs it stung my cuts a little but it's alright. once i cleaned up i washed the blade and put it back. i got out of the bathroom and wiped my face with my face cloth in my bedroom. my eyes were red and puffy and i grabbed some black joggers of jadens and i put them on. i always will keep these. i opened my bedroom door and i forced a smile and i grabbed my phone off the couch. i sat there when i felt jaden put his hand on my thigh which was right near the cut. i sort of gasped in pain he immediately removed his hand!!

jaden: i'm sorry did i do something
kay: sorry i just thought of something
jaden: oh sorry can i put my hand.. there?
kay: uhm sure!!

he lightly placed it so it hurt less.. he didn't know what i done but it felt nice with his hand on me.

jaden: hey are those my joggers??
kay: uh yeah.. i stole them

i slightly laughed

jaden: you can keep them! i was questioning where they went HAHA
Kay: i'm sorry

jaden: it's okay sweetie now let's watch this movie.

i pulled my head closer to his shoulder and i leaned my head on his shoulder. we watched this movie the boys picked. and i found myself falling asleep to his touch.