GATEWAY 🝔 LEE JENO

🝔 1.38

Never take someones feelings as a joke

you never know how bad it feels

Burning eyes and aching heart. Ga-eun screamed out in the quiet night crouching beside a tree trunk. Suffering, she couldn't do anything but helplessly cry out her bawling heart of affliction. Discomfort rode up her numbing heart. Gripping the material over it she clutched the dirt underneath her paw with the other.

Deafening yells of her pain and torment mixed with the clouds that cried along with her. Her chest raised up and down unable to take proper breathes due to her clenched up lungs and blocked up airway. Coughing and chocking on her tears she sniffed now and again being consumed by the coldness of the thundering storm above her. 

She was shivering and felt paralysed from the arctic weather but she did not care about her frozen limbs nor rosy cheeks that transformed due to the night rain. The only thing she could think of was the dreadful news she had heard. 

Yet she felt pathetic in front of them all. She couldn't take it because they hid it from her. She felt like they treated her like some Russian doll that can shatter into pieces so easily. Truth is  . .  that's exactly how she felt.

Why?! Because her whole life was a lie. About her father, about her home . . . everything

The countless times she wished that her mother knew where her father was. The countless times she prayed that they can meet again and she could see him for the first time in her life. She must've sounded like an idiot whenever she spoke about how it would be like fate if her mother bumps into him. She knew all this time where he is yet she never spoke a word of it. But what frustrated her the most is that she said she kept it a secret for her sake. 

She rather know the truth then be lied to.

Attempting to wipe her tears she raised her sleeve up to her face just to realise that there was no point. They would just carry on falling no matter how many times she attempts to get rid of them. On top of that she was wet top to bottom anyway.

 Pursing her lips to prevent them from quivering she aggressively bit her bottom lip down that blood could have spilled if she applied any more pressure.  

Just then she heard distant footsteps running towards her direction. She could hear the pitter patter of rhythmic legs coming her way against the flooded concrete. Slowly peeking to the side she spotted a dark outline of a figure making way towards her. 

She didn't need to see his face to guess who it was. Not staying there another second she hastily stood up sprinting down the road. There calls where muffled by the thunder strikes that blared above in the night sky. Ga-eun ran into the forest in hopes to escape their view. She knew very well that he doesn't know his way around the trees. That was how she first met him.

Huffing tiredly she carried on swerving past the trees that partially sheltered her from the storm. She was gradually getting exhausted, legs loosing will to take anymore steps, her throat infiltrated with the nasty flavouring of blood. But the only thing that was helping her trudge uphill was her coursing adrenaline through her bloodstream. Yet she was at a helpless state, with Jeno merely a few feet away from her. 

The heavy temperate wind was not aiding her either. She was struggling to walk up it, while Jeno was finding it only half as difficult as she was. Gulping hard she took an abrupt turn however she sadly tripped over a large root making her fall flat onto the wet soil. Palms covered in soggy leaves and mud, tiny carvings formed on her arms bleeding out. 

Halting in his footsteps, Jeno's eyes widened. "Ga-eun" abruptly jogging over he kneeled down grabbing both her shoulders before examining her wounds and face.  Red swollen orbs staring right into his. Gently he pushed her fringe aside before placing his hand over her cheek softly caressing her skin. 

His heart clenched tight at the sight. She didn't do anything but let out some quiet sobs looking right into his dark orbs covered with his black wet hair dropping over concealing them away from her. 

Letting out a small sigh, Jeno leaned closer wrapping his arms around the girl emitting some sort of warmth in hopes that her shaking body would stop. However, he fell into a pit of misery when she brutally pushed him away from her. 

Bawling her fist tight she began hitting his chest again and again not saying a word. It burned every time she thrashed her fist at him. Not by the physical pain but emotional. Yet he let her. He let her use him as a way to let out all her worries and sorrow that she couldn't spill out and consumed inside of her. 

"Y-you knew!" she screamed out punching his chest once again. 

"You knew but you didn't t-tell me. I told you everything about my f-father. You knew who he w-was and y-you chose to not say a word!" biting his bottom lip he just watched as she continued to hit his chest. "How could you! You all knew and hid it from me!" she dropped her hand away from his chest, covering her features with her palms.

"I'm sorry" he muttered out not even sure if she heard due to the loud thunder that blared out as he spoke. "I thought we were close. How could you-you not say a word?" she cried out. "It wasn't my place"

"But Jisung knew. How did he even find out about Seoul if y-you hadn't told him? How did he find out about my dad if you hadn't told him?" she screamed out gripping his collar tightly dropping her head to face the ground. "He happened to find out" he pleaded wanting her to believe him. Shaking hands and clenched jaw she carried on crying. "But still!"

"I didn't want you to get hurt" 

"But you did!" she screamed pushing him away harshly. A sudden thunder vibrated against the cold breeze sending a ray of shivers along their spines yet they did not care the slightest. 

A pang of pain infiltrated his heart. Angry at himself for making her feel that way. Exactly putting her through what he hoped she wouldn't go through. His raging heart corresponding with the angry skies that bolted down at the peaceful city before.

He wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her with calming words. He wanted to scream out and tell her that he is there for her but he had no right to. Because he was also the reason for her tears. Also the reason for her sorrow. 

"Why would you care about my feelings anyway!" she cried out. 

"Why wouldn't I care about the feeling of the girl I love"