𝔽 𝔸 𝕃 𝕃 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾

19

⚠️AN: tw fire, knife, sexual assault, physical abuse

Avery
Three years ago

''I can't breathe'' he doesn't care. He throws me into the wall and I hope the others downstairs can't hear us. If they do, Rika will see me. I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want them to see me like this. My mother's boyfriend takes me upstairs and she follows after him.

''Your mother was worried sick, apologize'' he orders. He kicks me in the ribs and I let my cocky grin get the best of me.

''Never'' I whisper. I see him smile and he kicks me again, sending me on my stomach. I cough blood and before I know it, his hands are lifting me. He slams me against the wall and I fall back to the ground. My mother takes my collar and drags me into a bedroom. Her boyfriend keeps cursing and when I see him walk away, I laugh. Pussy.

''You're a disgrace to this world'' my mother says. I giggle. Me? A disgrace? Really?

''That's the worse you can do?'' I ask and try to get up. I lean on the wall and another slap comes. I spit in her face and I know she's on drugs.

''I should have left you for dead'' she whispers. As if I am shocked. Fuck her. I don't care what she says. This is my new life. I get to choose what I do with it. She doesn't. I don't want her in my life anymore. I hate her.

''Sorry to break it to you but it looks like your decision was already made'' she slaps me again. Again, and again, and again. I know my cheeks must be bleeding but I don't care. I have handled worse than this. And here I am. Taking all of her shit again. I have had enough. I hold my stomach with one hand and hit her. I send her flying back and I hear her head hit the cold floor. I hover over her and smile when she opens her eyes.

''I am not a kid anymore'' I whisper. She takes a fist full of my hair and tugs on it. I fall again to the floor and she climbs on top of me.

'' I started doing drugs because of you. I started selling myself to have money so you could eat. I fucking did everything for you. You ruined my fucking life!'' She exclaims and I see her take a knife. I close my eyes. It hurts. I am used to her bullshit but it hurts, so much. I just want to be loved. I care more the be wanted.

And I want her to want me. I want her to fight back for me instead of fighting me. But that will never happen. She digs the tip of the knife into my skin, drawing a big cut on my stomach. I yelp and as I am about to scream, she puts her hand over my mouth. I am surprised Rika and the four horsemen have not heard us yet. And that's if they aren't already out of the house.

''You're a fucking bitch. I never liked you. No one ever will'' she mumbles before slapping me again. She puts the knife back in her pants and I turn her around.

''You're wrong'' I say with the little energy I have left. She slaps me again and I can't do it anymore. I drop next to her and I hit my head on the floor. What if she's right? Will I ever be wanted? Will someone ever want me?
She drags me to a closet and I don't even care anymore. She puts a chair in front of it, locking me in. I don't beg her to let me go. I know when I lose and I have lost.

''If this makes me the villain. Then so fucking be it. I'll be the villain in your fucking tragic story'' she says and hits the wall. Tears are pooling in my eyes, rolling down my cheeks. I keep my sons to me until I hear her scream. Suddenly, the smell of fire and smoke assaults my nostrils. Did they set fire to the fucking house? My mother's screams erupt in the empty house. At first, I think she's playing some stupid prank.

But when I start coughing, I know, they fucking set fire to the house. My mother will die, I will die. I kick in the door but it doesn't open. I am going to die. I am going to die. I will fucking die. Avery, stop. Panicking will only make it worse. I don't want to die. I need to find a way to get out of here. Fuck me. I don't want this. Fuck Thunder Bay. Fuck Rika. Fuck my dad. Fuck my mom. I just want to go outside. I want to be free.

I look around the empty closet and it really is empty. There's nothing that could help me out of here. I have to kick, even if I break a leg, which is unlikely. I can see the smoke and I know the fire has reached this bedroom. My mother must be dead by now and it's my turn. I kick and once I hear a crack I slam my wrist against the door. It breaks open and I think I was safer in the closet than I am now. The fire is bright and deadly. I have to walk through it.

I have to find a way to get out. I take in my surroundings, no widows. Fuck. I walk towards the door, twist the doorknob and I have burned my hand. I don't care. I kick it open and once I do, I hear the house crumbling down. Everything is melting.

I try to run. I march down the stairs and I ignore the pain on my feet and my face. I shield my eyes with my hands and I try to find a way out again. The front door is unreachable. It's already in flames and if I dare to go through it, the flames will spread onto me. I keep coughing until I hear a car. The four horsemen and Rika left. All she had to do was stay and I would have been safe. Am I too young for this?

My heart breaks. What if I can't get out? Rika left me. Is she the one who lit the match? I crumble to my knees and I let my sobs get out of me. I am already on fire. What I do just die? But I can't. It hurts so much, it gives me the strength to walk to the back door.

I kick it and limp outside. I can see my hands are on fire and so are my legs. I look ahead of me and there it is. A lake. I run so fast and I don't care what's in it. I fall in it. Everything seems perfect. This is the moment I have been waiting for my entire life. Because suddenly, the world goes quiet. And under the water, I feel safe. Nothing hurts anymore. Am I dying? Is this what it feels like? I don't know. But my moment is short-lived. Someone grabs my hand and pulls me back out of the lake.

I cough until I open my eyes. My mother's boyfriend is here. Why didn't he come into the house? I know why. He never cared about us; my mother. He only used her so he could fuck her and touch me as a bonus. I am not scared anymore. Anyway, I am already dying.

''Where is she?'' He asks.

''Dead'' I whisper. I don't know how I manage to talk but once he kicks me again, I know I won't be able to find my voice after this. I have no idea what he's saying. Everything is such a blur and even as I see him take a knife out as my mother did earlier, I am not afraid. He can do whatever he wants, it feels like I am already dead.  I can feel his knife in my thigh and then in the cut my mother had already made.

''This is for her'' he says and it's the last thing I hear before my body gives up. I don't even care if I die anymore.

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