𝔽 𝔸 𝕃 𝕃 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾

24

Avery

Sometimes I get this feeling and I think it'll last forever but, it doesn't. The highs are high but the lows are low. I thought I figured it out. A perfect plan to get revenge. Well, it didn't work. I am back to square one. How do I make it this time? With Will by my side? What about Damon? Will he text me? I doubt it. Damon didn't tell me I was only pussy. But, when he said to never trust a fucking woman, he glanced at me. He knows. He probably heard us. They all did, I am certain. And I do not want to care anymore. It's my life, I have to live it. I have the right to do what I want.

I will not stand there and let him slut shame me. I gave myself to him. He made me feel special but I realize, it was all an act. He kissed my scars. He made me feel good. I think someone in this world will change Damon. I just don't think that person is me. Perhaps this Winter girl is. I saw the look on his face. There's something about her, I just know it. I just wish he didn't make me feel this way. Is it love? Is it lust? I don't know. I am not sure I want to find out either.

I am in the guest room. Will is sitting next to me. Kai is at the edge of the bed. He held me and he let me cry. I felt weak, and vulnerable but, it kind of makes me stronger. Because here's the thing about feeling, it's hard. It's so much more painful to actually feel it instead of hiding from it. It takes courage. Not all of us can. I used to avoid my emotions but now, they're a part of me. I might regret that later but I am alive. I am brave and I have friends. We may become a family, I think we could. I would love that.
Someone knocks at the door. I twist my head to it and see Michael coming in. I look at the ceiling before looking down at my hands. There's a reason why I hate him so much. He knew who I was way before Rika said I was her sister. He knew about me.

I saw him a couple of times. I don't think this is hate though. I think it's just because at that time, I wanted to get out of my miserable life. He listened to me, I talked about everything. I was about fourteen. It was the year before well, my mother died. I never told him my name but I knew his. I told him I had a sister he knew but he never figured it out. It's the way he looked at me when he saw me that I know, he realized who I was. I came to Thunder Bay for Rika. But really, I just wanted him to be a bigger part of my life. I considered him my brother. I can't say he considered me his sister but maybe it could come to that point. I just need him, I need them to apologize for what they did.

''Hey, Rika went back to Meridian City'' he informs us. I nod and so do the others. Will's hand is on my thigh, stroking it carefully. His touch is so different from Damon and I don't know what my emotions are telling me. I like Will, I am not stupid. I just can't tell what's the difference? What is love? It's a mystery. But I think I will figure out this riddle.

''Avery'' Michael whispers. I swallow before daring to look at him. He walks toward us and he kneels before me. I bandaged Will's hand, along with Kai's. I could do it for Michael if he lets me.

''Yeah?'' I ask. I reach for the first aid kit that is still in the drawer. Michael seems lost in thoughts. This is hard for all of us. Damon was one step ahead of all of us. I won't let that happen again. I need to know everything that is going on. I don't know where he'll go but he'll show up. I know it. He would walk through fire for his friends. Especially Will.

''It was you'' I wipe the dried blood and shake my head. His wound isn't as bad as Kai's or Will's. I might have been going easy on him. Maybe.

''It was you at the park'' he goes on. I close my eyes.

''What are you talking about?'' Kai asks. I bite my lip and shake my head once again.

''Avery knows what I am talking about. It was you, wasn't it?'' I scoff before looking into his eyes.