𝔽 𝔸 𝕃 𝕃 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾

31

Avery

Dying. Is this what it feels like? It feels like my brain is being smashed against a wall and my insides are curling out of me. My lungs are empty and I can't breath. My eyes are closed. I am blind. It's like I am fading. I can't hear anything, I don't see anything. I have this excruciating pain in my stomach. Like someone is playing inside me. I hate it. I can't even do anything. I could scream forever. But, the pain suddenly stops and I can breathe again. Am I dead? I don't know. But I can hear my name. 'Avery, Avery, Avery' I keep hearing it. 'Stop!' I try to say. And then I hear it, 'I love you.' My head is railing. Is it Rika? Will? Damon?

It can't be Damon. He doesn't love me. I do my best to open my eyes but it's not working. All I can do is feel. I want to cry, I want to talk, I want to move. I can't. Am I dead? I can't be. ''Please Avery, I need you'' I furrow my eyes and I slowly blink them open. A wave of satisfaction hit me as I see Will standing over me. So, I am not dead. Silly me.

My vision is blurry but when Will sees my eyes open, he kisses my forehead.

''I thought I lost you'' he whispers. It all comes back. The boat. Rika. Damon. Trevor. Michael. Will. Kai. Where is Kai? Is he okay? Did he make it?

I open my mouth but then I see him. I see all of them. They are all sitting at a table. Rika is next to Will and I realize where we are. Hospital. My eyes are watering and I look around. Will must have caught on because he strokes my jaw and tells me it's okay. But it's not.

''Deep breaths Avery'' Will commands. I shake my head and I feel the first tear falling.

''You were shot. You need help, Avery. I am here, I won't let anything happen to you'' I look at Rika and she nods. Her eyes are red, her cheeks are wet. Was she crying? Maybe. I have no idea what happened after I stabbed Trevor. I just remember falling in the ocean and then I was in Will's arms. I don't remember anything else. I try to breath with Will but I am shaking. I want to sit up but he stops me. He really didn't have to, the pain in my stomach made me lay on back fast enough.

''That motherfucker shot me?'' I ask, my voice low as a whisper. Will chuckles before nodding. I see the dark circles around his eyes. How long has it been? A week? Two weeks? A day? Four days? I don't know. I don't want to ask either.

''An eye for an eye'' I mumble and close my eyes.

''Why do you say that?'' Rika takes my hand and o know I am smirking.

''I stabbed him'' I say. Will smiles and Rika keeps her mouth shut.

''Little liar'' Kai comes into view and so does Michael. My head is buzzing from looking at all of them but I shake it off.

''You are a real fighter'' he continues. This might just be the best compliment I have ever had. I smile and I try to talk but end up coughing instead. Will searched for something and he comes back with a cup of water. He helps me drink it and I almost choke on it. Everything feels heavier. My limbs, my throat, my head, my arms, my hands, my thighs, my feet. I am glued to the mattress and I don't think I would want to be out of it either. I close my eyes and frown.

''What? What's wrong?'' Will caresses my cheek and I shake my head.

''Too many people'' I breathe out. I don't see the others leave but I hear them saying they'll go find the nurse. I am left with Will and Rika. I really don't want to hear any apologies or whatever right now. I am just thankful I am alive. A spark goes through me as Will kisses my lips. I find it hard to keep up with him but I don't want to let go. I think I'll always need him.

But of course, there's always one of us pulling away. Will stares at my eyes before pecking my lips and letting the nurse come to me. She asks what my name is and stuff like that. It's always the same and I fucking hate it. At least Will is close to me. It still doesn't help that much.
The nurse checks my eyes and she takes my pulse.

''Everything seems to be okay'' she concludes. I hear Rika let out an exaggerated breath and Will hugs her. Am I jealous? No. No. Yes.

''' How long do I have to stay here?'' I tear my eyes away from my sister and back at the nurse.

''You have to stay in the hospital for a week or two. It depends on your progress. It's a miracle you survived. The bullet went straight through your body, if it was stuck, you could have died'' my breath hitch and Will laces his fingers with mine. Everything is going so fast. Time is running away from me.

''Right'' Will answers. The nurse looks at him before looking back at me.

''Um, unfortunately, you lost your baby I am really sorry'' blank.

''What?'' Empty.

''I am sorry, I'll let you guys a moment and I'll come back to check on your injuries tonight'' white.

Rika sits next to Will and I think there are tears on my cheeks. I am not sure. I was pregnant? With Damon? I lost Damon's baby.

''Did you know?'' Will sounds calm. Calmer than I am about to sound like. A sob rolls on my lips. I shake my head and I cover my mouth with my hand.

''He's gonna hate me, forever'' I whisper more to myself than to the others. Rika takes Will's place and she orders him to walk away. He doesn't at first but one glance at me and he nods before walking away.

''Avery, he'll never hate you'' she assures me. I grunt and shake my head.

''I love him, Rika. I know him. He won't e-''

''I know him, too. He won't hate you. He probably won't even know about it'' the fact she calls it it makes me cry.

''Do you love Will?'' She asks. I sniffle and wipe my tears.

''I think I do'' really, I don't know. I don't even want to talk about it. All that goes through my mind is: I was pregnant. I was pregnant. I was pregnant. With Damon. Damon's baby was inside me. And I lost it. I lost him and his baby.

'' Are you tired?'' I don't know what she's doing but now that she mentions it, yes I am tired. I an very tired.

''Sleep, we'll be here when you'll wake up'' I nod and she slips inside my bed. My head is on her shoulder and I dare to close my eyes. Everything will change. What will happen now?