Doodles || Sirius Black

Doodles of Dumblewhore

With every passing day of the summer holidays, the relationship between Rosalind and Sirius became more strained, unbeknownst to the man. It had been two months since Rosalind gave birth to Katrina Astrid Black, she thought she would of been a good mother by now. But Rosalind still had her struggles, she couldn't even breastfeed her own child, which the nurses at St Mungo's had practically screamed at her for.

Like many mothers, Rosalind wanted to share a close bond with her daughter, experience the exciting rush of the mother- daughter bond. But that wasn't happening. It left Rosalind with little happiness at the moment. There was so much she wanted to say but even the mere thought of explaining her feelings to Sirius left her in a state of shock.

So, Rosalind let her emotions bubble up every time her daughter refused to settle down when she held her.

It only seemed to worsen when Sirius seemed happy and content in his current life. He was happy. He had a beautiful daughter, a fiancé he loved, and his amazing Godson all under the same roof. He still laughed, made jokes and kept good health.

While Rosalind, well Rosalind was slowly crumbling. The past simplicities of life were just not attainable anymore but she wished for them every second of every day. She wished for a good night sleep, a hot shower that lasts more then two minutes and a hot, fresh meal. As she glanced at Sirius holding their smiling baby, she felt jealous.

Jealous of her own fiancé.

Katrina never smiled at her when she held her. She only cries and screams, settling for everyone else no matter who.

The baby even smiled when Mad-Eye Moody held her.

Subconsciously, Rosalind placed her hand over her eyes to shield herself from the loving sight. The thing that hurts the most is that Sirius didn't even seem to notice that her mind was quickly burning to the ground.

Watching Molly Weasley be such an excellent mother was like watching a muggle movie, unrealistic and far away. She had seven children and still managed to smile and be a positive force for everyone while Rosalind's own daughter didn't even like her.

All she wanted was alone time, yet it would never happen again for a long time. Even when Sirius was with the baby, she wasn't left alone. Dumbledore wanted her powers back, any free time went to training her, and very brutally.

After two hours of training, Rosalind was tired and sweaty and so, so tired.

"Focus, Rosalind, let the darkness out." Dumbledore spoke calmly, pointing his wand at her and shooting a non-verbal spell.

The spell hit her roughly, sending her across her living room and agony spread throughout her entire body. Her body was fragile still from the Battle and childbirth, she had been advised to rest and take it easy. Yet here she was, being thrown around like a ragdoll to gain the power back that simply wasn't there anymore.

Sirius watched from the door to the dining room, Katrina was sleeping peacefully in her cot in the dining room. With every hit Rosalind took, Sirius flinched and argued with Dumbledore about this 'training'.

"Focus," Dumbledore spoke, raising his wand once again, "Just focus."

"Albus is this necessary?" Sirius interrupted.

"She's done this once before Mr Black, when she was eleven. She just needs to focus." Albus responded, shooting another spell at the woman.

Rosalind was going insane, physically, she was in severe agony. Mentally, she was dying. Everything was building up; the Battle, her lack of magical powers, the childbirth, and the aftermath.

It was driving her utterly mad.

Dumbledore spoke her name again.

"Shut up!" Rosalind managed to say, pushing herself up from the floor with a pained moan, "Just please be quiet for one minute."

"Miss Grindelwald." Dumbledore tried to intervene, but was ignored.

"No." Rosalind's heart quickened uncontrollably, hey eyes were watering (from both tiredness and pain) and she just broke. "I just want one hour of not feeling like a complete failure."

"Rose." Sirius tried to intervene

"I don't care about the obscurus, it's gone and that's a good thing. I'm not a disposable weapon to kill Voldemort, I'm not even a witch, stop acting like my grandfather."

Dumbledore didn't say a word, his eyes not giving away a single emotion.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she broke. "I can't do everything. My own daughter hates me, won't look at me, smile, all she does is cry. Fucking hell, I can't even breastfeed my own baby."

Katrina's screams alerted the three adults that the shouting had woken her up.

"See, see, see. Even the sound of my voice makes her cry. When I'm an obscurus everyone thinks I'm a monster and when I'm nothing they still think I'm a monster."

She wanted them to know how she felt. She needed them to understand.

"I've been so alone," She cried, looking directly at a pained Sirius Black, "and you haven't even noticed. You've had the good parts, her smiles and laughs and quality time with Harry. I've done everything; nappies, all feedings at all times, bathing, while you just have fun."

"Rose ple-"

"While I've been slowly dying for two months."

"I believe I should leave." Dumbledore spoke up

"Oh really!?" Rosalind hysterically asked

"Rose, can you please look at me?" Sirius' face grew serious, "I should of seen this, as your partner it's my job to support and love you unconditionally."

Rosalind wondered if Sirius was finally understanding her. She felt stupid as the tears non-stop rolled down her cheeks.

"Please," Sirius muttered, "we can fix this, work as an equal team as it should of been all along. Go shower and rest, I'll handle KitKat and bring you food."

"That's not just it."

"Talk to me." Sirius pleaded, hand stroking down her face.

Rosalind sighed, "I carried our daughter for over eight months, love her, care for her and she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"Well, she doesn't like me." Rosalind spoke, flinching at her daughters cried in the room next door

Sirius kissed her softly and comfortingly, "This is my family, my whole life is under this roof and I refuse to let you feel like this anymore."

"I love you."

"I love you, so so much." Sirius spoke, "We will fix this, I promise on my life."