𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝

sixteen.

SUNNY *ೃ༄

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

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dane had left california. this hurt me, i could've left and started over with him. i chose not to because of tobais.

i liked tobais because things with him was simple. i don't have to stress about a wife finding out about us.

but i do have to worry about him finding about dane. maybe i can keep it a secret for a while. i know this ruins things, but we're cool where we're at.

i went over to tobais' to comfort him. he told me when we received the news at my house, he was angry at the news. he knew what sometimes happens to people with cancer. the thought of his mother dying was scary. he needed space.

i was indeed overthinking. i felt selfish to think it was about me, when instead it had nothing to do with me. completely opposite things.

"i'm here for you, okay?" i whispered in his ear. his head was lying in my lap.

"thanks for being here." he grabbed my face and kissed me. butterflies spiraled in the stomach.

but these butterflies don't compare to the ones i had with dane. the ones with him were different. it gave me a different feeling i haven't ever felt.

i hated that he had to go so far. and i wouldn't see him for years. would he still make me feel the same when he returns?

will he have another lover? these thoughts swarmed my head since he left. what if i went? my thoughts were interrupted:

"do you mind if i talk about work?"

"talk about whatever, i'm listening." i smiled down at him.

"my partner, dane, just left for europe. it's for just a couple years, but dang, i miss him." me too. me too.

"oh, what's he in europe for?" he didn't explain everything to me, except the fact he was leaving out the country.

"well, one of us had to go and invest in european countries and be invested in back. while the other had to stay here and keep our other partners in america tact."

"i was originally going to go, but i didn't want to leave my mother or you." is it bad that i wished he had gone? i like tobais, but i've realized he isn't dane.

i'm going to give this man trust issues. unfortunately.

"that's so sweet, you didn't have to do that. i would've been okay. i promise. if you asked, i would've checked up on your mom." that promise was a lie. but checking on his mom, that's something i hold to my heart.

"i feel as if i left, you'd find someone else. i don't want you with anyone else." he sat up from my lap. he looked me in my eyes.

"sunny," he slightly paused. he seemed nervous.

"i want you to be my girlfriend." why didn't i catch this coming? it was literally just in my face.

"um, wow." was all i could say. i was taken bacl from the question.

"i'm sorry," he said to me, i felt a little bit bad about my reaction.

if i say yes, i'm most likely going to lead him on, which is terrible.

if i say no, he's going to know there is someone else again.

if i say yes, i'm going in and hurting him, more than i'm hurting myself.

if i say no, it shows how much dane means to me, even if i constantly keep choosing cara over him everytime.

but if i say yes, i could get over dane. and have an actual chance at loving someone in public.

the cons were outweighing the pros. it spoke that i was a major red flag. this feeling in me told me to not get into it with tobais, because i would be in adventure when it all came down.

unless he doesn't find out about dane? but then again, they always eventually find out.

i know i said he didn't compare to dane, but dane is not here. dane is off in europe, maybe finding someone for himself.

while i was making this long decision in my head, i was making tobais nervous by the second. i hadn't said anything but just stared.

"you don't have to rush to give me an answer, sunny, take your time." he smiled to reassure himself.

"tobais," i grabbed his hands. i felt them shaking.

"i say, yes, to be your girlfriend."

oh was i in deep shit from that moment.

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- renee 💗