36 MINUTES TO FALL, jaemin ✓

18 | terrible memory

❝ What is your most terrible memory?❞

"I know what I said about my parents' situation," Yumi said, "but I think the worst of all my terrible memories would be the end of the seventh grade, when I brought back home my results and my mother completely lost it."

"Wouldn't that be around the time your dad...?"

"Same year, actually. You remember what I said about how things were. Mentally, I was not okay. Barely holding on, really. Whether it was just bad luck or fate, I don't know, but you know that the seventh grade is when things get harder than before, noticeably. I tried my hardest to study and do well, but fact was, I couldn't do it. I failed everything, barely passed the Korean and English exams.

"You know what my mom said?" Yumi's voice trembled as she spoke. Jaemin took her hand and guided her to sit down by the wall with him, not letting go even as she sat down—and she didn't release it, either. "She said I failed because I didn't try to study at all, that I didn't put in any effort. She made me feel horrible enough about it, but the thing that made me angrier was that eventually, it turned into her saying that she didn't know what to do with me anymore, how was she going to look in front of everyone else? Just stuff like that. As if I wasn't embarrassed and ashamed of myself. As if I thought this was a cool thing to do."

"Yumi..."

"It's a memory that's haunted me ever since," she said bitterly. "And a reason for a lot of my anxiety attacks. The fear of what else she'll say to me."

"You have anxiety?"

"Never been diagnosed, but the guidance counselor says I probably do," she sighed. "I know I most likely do, but I don't want to talk to them about a psychologist. Who knows what else I'll be subjected to?"

"Promise me you'll talk to them about it one day," Jaemin insisted. "Promise me, Han Yumi. I'm not going to drop this until you do so."

She was silent for a span of ten heartbeats. And then, "okay. I promise I'll talk to them about it one day."

"Good," he said. "Do you need some water, or anything? I can run over to the cooler."

"No, I'm fine," she shook her head. "What's your memory?"

"Like I said earlier—the fight with my friend," Jaemin said. "There isn't much to the story, mainly because I can't remember much of it. But it still hurts, because losing a friend is never easy. Especially if it ended badly. I don't know why we never bothered trying to patch things up, but it's too late now."

"It's never too late," Yumi shook her head. "Don't lose heart. There might be a chance for you yet."

"Because I might magically just find him again, or something?"

"Exactly," she nodded. "I know I lose hope a lot, but don't be like me. I remember reading something in a book, a vampire boy quoting his dad. 'Do as I say, not as I do,' which isn't exactly the greatest advice, but in this case—"

"—it fits? Point taken," he said. "Maybe one day. Moving onto number nineteen..."

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