scars || sirius black

29 - if the fates allow

Remus and Emmy were going to stay at the Potter's for Christmas that year and Euphemia met them off the train to open arms. Sirius was supposed to be staying too but that plan was quickly halted when he received a letter at breakfast on the first day ordering him home immediately.

He'd packed his bag and was gone by lunchtime, and they all felt his absence like a hole in the heart.

Over the next couple of days they played cards, quidditch and fought snowball wars like five year olds, spending the evenings in front of the fire and eating as many of Euphemia's cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate as they could possibly manage.

Emmy had been writing to Sirius almost every day but he had yet to reply. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little hurt. James, Remus and Peter had all been trying to contact him too, but to no avail; it certainly put a damper on the festivities.

Soon enough it was Christmas Eve and the stars were twinkling in their high up perches. The four teenagers were sitting by the tree sipping eggnog as a Frank Sinatra record spun on the turn board.

No one had said it, but they were all missing Sirius' joking and messing around. Before too long they were all sleepily heading to bed.

It was 2am in the morning when Emmy jolted awake. She lay in bed, trying to work out what had startled her when she heard a noise from the sitting room. And it sounded like crying.

Wrapping her dressing gown hurriedly around herself, she tiptoed down the main staircase to find James, Euphemia and Fleamont crouching by the fireplace. They were staring in horror at a figure crumpled on the floor, trembling, with his back to her.

He was cradling an obviously dislocated shoulder and soot covered his clothes and hair.

Realising that it was Sirius, Emmy rushed forward, panic in her voice as she called his name but Fleamont stopped her before she reached him.

"Sirius, what happened? Are you ok?" she asked, trying to push against his arm, but Sirius didn't turn. He'd gone rigid and seemed to be trying to brush tears off his face.

"Just give him some space, my dear," murmured Fleamont.

"What? Why? What's happened?"

"Emmy, I'm ok. Go to bed," Sirius interrupted. He stood shakily and turned around. Emmy's mouth dropped in shock as she took in his throbbing black eye and cut up face.

Tears slid down her cheek.

"What did they do to you?" she whispered.

And then her eyes slid down to the forearm he was clutching and the dark tattoo underneath, pulsing and obsidian.

"Don't look at it," he said shakily. "I'm a monster... But I fought, I fought so hard, Ems."

"I know, I know" she said, putting her own feelings aside and focusing on him. He looked so scared and if she could just reach him and hold him tight...

Euphemia was sobbing quietly with a hand outstretched to hold Sirius' but he wasn't letting her close. Fleamont slowly let go of Emmy and she took a step forward.

He was like a wild animal, wounded and bleeding. Hiding his scars and bruises from them as if they couldn't see right through him.

At the first step he flinched and at the second he stumbled back so she stopped and looked him in the eye.

"I know it's hurting, but please, please..." she murmured.

He didn't say anything so she took another step and then she was right in front of him, and all she could see was his eyes that so often looked like swirling storm clouds but now looked like the aftermath of a rainfall, completely defeated.