scars || sirius black

58 - tiny miracles

The next morning, Emmy awoke next to Sirius and for the first time didn't have to think about sneaking back into the flat before Lily woke up. She curled into his side and he pulled her closer, still half-asleep, tracing circles on the bare skin of her back. She gazed at the light coming through the windows as it flickered through the thin curtain and couldn't help but think just how happy she was in that moment.

Her body still ached from the cruciatus curse and the full moon was in three days' time but she was with Sirius and somehow nothing else seemed to feel as daunting anymore, now that she had someone to face them with.

A while later, she got up and pulled on one of Sirius' shirts to make a pot of coffee, Mac the cat twining around her ankles. He seemed to be enjoying his new home, spending much of the day lounging in patches of sunlight on the worn wooden floorboards. Emmy laid out some food for him and petted him softly before sitting down at the kitchen table.

Sipping on a steaming mug of coffee, she pulled out some parchment and ink to write a letter that she'd been meaning to send for a very long time.

She didn't even know if he would reply but it was worth a shot. She thought about when she had seen him in the hospital wing only six months earlier, tired and broken, pleading with her for his brother's happiness. Emmy wondered how he had changed so much since then. He'd tried to kill Sirius, after all.

The parchment was mind-numbingly blank but she forced herself to begin tracing the words she's practiced for weeks now, turning over and over in her head, with her quill.

Regulus,

There is no way to put this other than I love your brother and I have done for the past three years. I also know that you love him too, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise. You've hurt him worse than you ever have before, Reg. I'll never be able to forgive you for that, but one day I hope Sirius will be able to. It's for him that I'm writing this letter, so that you might give yourself that chance.

He's doing better now, he's fast asleep in the next room and he's been eating more each day. His hands have finally stopped shaking.

In case you ever have a sliver of regret for what you've done, for what you tried to do, I'm sending you this letter. Write back, the owl will know where to find us.

Sirius needs you.

With love,

Emeline Lupin

She covered the letter with a flinch at the sound of Sirius' footsteps on the creaky floorboards as he wandered into the kitchen. In the small chance that Regulus actually replied, she would tell him about it then, when he was ready to hear anything about his little brother again.

He smiled as he saw her, kissing her gently as he poured another cup of coffee.

"Sleep well?"

"Best I've slept in months," she smiled.

—————

Emmy went to the Potters' house early one day before the Order meeting. The sun was just setting and she had apparated a few fields away from the house to get some fresh air and clear her mind.

A soft breeze rushed through the scarlet trees nearby and she pulled her jacket tighter around her, thick scarf half-obscuring her view. Horses cantered past nearby, gently nickering at their foals and a lone kestrel soared overhead, scouting the ground for prey.