Easily broken

4|| Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo

                             -Payton-

I went to Ava's car when the school bell rang. I already knew what this argument was going to be. She's gonna tell me that I shouldn't see myself like that. That i'm amazing and a great friend. And she may think that but I don't. It's the honest truth. I haven't liked who I am as a person since 8th grade. There's a reason I dyed my hair. There's a reason I cover my face

I dyed my hair because my blonde hair drew too much attention, it was a bright blonde, I mean don't get me wrong it was beautiful. I loved my blonde locks but after my family started falling apart I hated them. I looked like my mother. The same mother that liked to declare to my father all the wrong things she did. She initiated all the fights. She brings men to the fucking house for crying out loud. It's like she's trying to tell him that he's not good enough.

That's also the reason I hide my face. Even without the blonde hair I still saw too much of my mom on me. My mom has single hand-idly ruined my life. I couldn't handle waking up in the morning and seeing my mom. So I covered it up and changed my hair. Ava doesn't even know that that's the reason. She just thinks i'm going through a face, but the "phase" has lasted 4 years and probably will last for a lot more.

When I arrived to her car she looked pissed. She was waiting for me while leaning on her car with her arms crossed. She was staring off into the distance before she heard my footsteps and turned her head.

"Why would you say that?" I just shook my head "No stop shaking your head Payton. I don't know why you think Matthew wouldn't like you or why you felt the need to say that to his face but it's not true. He would love who you are now." I scoff as she looks at me

"No he wouldn't Ava. You like me because you know me. You grew up with me. You knew me before this" I moved my hand around my face and body "I tell you everything. I open up to you. You know the truth" well some of it "You know me. He would know the bitchy Payton that everyone else knows."

"So open up to him" She shrugs. If it were only that easy. If it was that easy I could be living with her. I wouldn't have to be stuck in that goddamn house. I wouldn't have to hear my parents fight. Or hear them tell me how useless I am. How I'm a pathetic excuse for a daughter. I wouldn't have to hear any of it. I could be happy living with Ava. If opening up was that easy. But it's not. Telling the truth comes with the risk of pissed off parents and them coming for me. It comes with the risk of guilt for turning in your own blood. There's too much to risk.

"You make it sound so easy Ava. It's not easy to share my fucked up life with people. It's difficult to tell people the shit i've been through."

"You told me" She shrugged again. She thinks she knows it all. She thinks that I just don't get love from my parents. That's all she knows. I've told her the words they've said to me. I've never told her that they fight. That my dad has actually hit me. He was drunk but he still hit me. There is so much I haven't told her and she doesn't even know.

"Yea" I mutter. I can't tell her she doesn't know it all. That only results in a pissed off Ava.

"Hey" She says bumping her shoulder with mine "If all fails you won't be losing anything right?" I shrug as she goes on "Say you become friends you could actually enjoy it Pay" She says trying to convince me "I'm not saying date the guy. All i'm saying is having friends isn't the end of the world" She has a point but I just can't. I've lost too many people to just freely let them in.

"I can't just open up Ava. If i'm gonna be friends with him he's gonna have to get through the bitchy Payton part before he gets the real me. If he can't handle the bitchy Payton he doesn't deserve the sweet Payton" that's a really fucked up way of looking at it but it's true. If they won't stick around for when i'm not okay then they can't be there for me when I am. They have to prove themselves.

She just nods her head but I see the disappointment on her face. She wants so bad for me to stop hiding myself. I feel bad that I make her feel bad but at the end of the day I just can't. She understands why so she doesn't push too hard. I've told her multiple times that she can hang out with other people. I don't want to hold her back but she refuses.

                           -Matthew-

I have been thinking of all the ways I can make Payton be my friend since lunch ended. She seems really cut off from the world. I want to know what happened so I can help her. I feel so bad. Especially after I found out that I abandoned her in a way. I want her to know that i'm here for her again. I know it's only been a few hours but all the memories came flooding back. She was my best friend and I left her because I got pissed off. She didn't deserve that and I want to make it up to her but I don't know if she'll let me in that easy. So i've been coming up with a plan. Logan, Blake, Jesse and Reese all said that they will help because they miss her too.

So to start off i'll just keep approaching her. It will annoy the crap out of her but it'll get the message across. I'm not trying to use her. I just wanna help. I tried finding her throughout the school day but she's really good at hiding. At the end of the day I saw her and tried to run up to her but she stopped in front of Ava. And man did she look pissed so I decided to back off and let them talk. I will catch up with her tomorrow it's no big deal.

I walked to my car and started driving home because we didn't have practice today. I needed to get home anyway. I told my mom I would babysit my baby sister, Emily, after school. Emily is my only sibling and she is so adorable. She's only 4 but she acts like she's the boss. It's cute when she tries to boss my mom around. Emily is also very obsessed with meeting new people. She would fall in love with Payton even if Payton acted like Payton. Emily could see a stranger and run up for a hug. Not safe but she doesn't really care. She's 4 but she loves to spread love.

When I got home my mom was getting ready to go out with my dad. I don't know what they were doing but they were gonna be gone long enough that I have to babysit. I don't mind though, it gives me something to do. When my mom was ready she rushed into the living room to give me more details about what is expected tonight. It was the usual rules no girls, no friends, no party, no drinking, no bad movies, and don't leave Emily unattended. They were pretty basic rules.

When my parents finally left I turned to Emily. "So Emi what shall we play?" She perked up at the word play and ran up to me.

"Dress up!" She screams excitedly. I laugh and pick her up to bring her upstairs. We go into her room and she runs to her dress up bin. She pulls a Rapunzel dress on top of her outfit that she already had on. She grabbed those fake plastic heels that you can buy in the toy isle at Walmart and a magic fairy wand.

" Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!" She yelled "You smell like poo!" She started falling over in a fit of laughter.

"Oh yea?" I ask as I move closer to her, I then go in to tickle her "I think you dressed up for the wrong princess" She couldn't stop laughing "Rapunzel doesn't say Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" She stopped laughing and looked at me all serious

"You don't know anything Matti" She pouts. She is the only one who calls me Matti because she couldn't pronounce Matthew when she was a baby and she didn't stop.

"What if I do know everything?" She just looked at me debating on what to say

"You don't. If you knew everything I wouldn't hear mommy correct you all the time" wow didn't expect that to come from my 4 year old sister

"Okay" I breath out "It's late, time for bed" She started whining "No none of that Emi. Don't make me tell mom you gave me trouble" I raise my eyebrows at her. She huffs and then takes off the dress and puts it away. She then stomps out of the room into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

After she's done pouting and brushing her teeth she comes into her room and picks her pjs. I help her get dressed in them and then tuck her into bed. "Goodnight Emi" I kiss her forehead and walk out of the room. I hear a quiet "Goodnight Matti" from her as I'm exiting her room. I walk down the hall into my room and lay on my bed. I stare at the ceiling trying to plan the conversation I will be having with Payton. I really hope it goes well.

_______

This is a longer chapter but since I split Pov's I felt like I needed to make it longer. Idek this book will be interesting because I have absolutely no idea where it's going.