Easily broken

19|| i love her.

Matti

Watching Payton play with Emily like they've known each other for years, is quite possibly the cutest thing ever. I've noticed that they have similar personalities and characteristics.

It's like i'm seeing Payton's inner child healing from the parental neglect she felt.

I have tried so hard to forget about what happened this morning. I'm trying to convince myself that we weren't about to kiss and that neither of us wanted it. I'm not even sure if that's what Payton thinks happened.

I wasn't expecting Emily to run down the stairs so excited that Payton agreed. I also didn't expect her to already be calling her a nickname. I love how confident Emily is when she talks to people. I won't have to worry about her not being able to handle herself.

They called me over to the swings and I made my way over. I wasn't doing anything important, I was trying to stop myself from staring at Payton.

When I got there Payton kinda took a step back and let me do my thing with Em. Instead of telling her to join right away, I let her watch. I haven't known Payton long but I know she likes to sit back and watch sometimes.

I messed around with Em for a bit. I chased her, caught her, pushed her on the swings, and raced her before Emily ran up to Payton. "Payton! Help!! Mattie's gonna get meeee" Payton smiled down at her and stepped in front to protect her from me.

She held her hand out in front of her and said "Stop right there buddy. If you want the kid you have to go through me first." I shrugged and kept going toward them. "Matti. Stop right there. Don't you dar- Emily run!" She didn't get to finish that sentence before they both started running.

Em hid somewhere when I was chasing Payton, so now Payton is the only one I can chase. She keeps laughing and looking back at me. I can tell she's having fun and that makes me feel so much better about this. Eventually I was able to catch up to her and I grabbed her waist to pull her back.

She let out a small scream and then started laughing as I picked her up and started running back toward the playground. "Matti! Put me down!"

"Fine." I dropped her

"Matthew O'Conner!" I've never liked my name more than at this moment.

"What? You asked me to put you down." I shrugged and laughed

"Put me down! Not drop me!" She started laughing too, and suddenly I realized we are really close right now. If I took a step forward we would be touching.

We both stopped laughing as we stared at each other. I took a careful step forward and tilted my head down to look at her. She was looking between my lips and my eyes and I took that as my cue to lean in.

"Matti?" Emily called my name.

Payton blinked and then took a step back. I looked over at Emily who was looking around for me. "Em." She turned her head and saw us and immediately smiled and started running over.

"There you are!!" She yelled as I squatted down and held my arms out for her to jump into them. She willingly did so with a little giggle. "Did you catch her?" She looked up at me with her adorable eyes and smiled.

"I did" She immediately looked at Payton and started laughing.

"Pay Pay! You're supposed to outrun him" She was still laughing and then suddenly stopped "amateur" she scoffed under her breath which caused Payton and I to die laughing.

"Come here" Payton squatted down and motioned for Emily to go to her "I wanna tell her a secret" With those words Emily jumped out of my arms and ran eagerly to Payton.

"What is it?"

Payton not so sneakily whispered in Emily's ear "I let him catch me. He was so slow I felt bad for him. Don't tell him though okay?" Emily started giggling and nodded her head.

"I heard that." I looked over at them very unimpressed and Emily started laughing all over again

"You were too slow!" I went to grab for her but she swerved me and started running back to her hiding spot. "You can't catch me!! You're too slowwww"

"I can't believe you told her that" I look over at Payton with faux hurt on my face

"It was true" She said with a shrug "You were slow"

"Was not" I said with a scoff "I could easily catch you! I'm a football player after all. I run everyday!"

"Just because you run everyday doesn't make you fast." She said with another shrug. I look at her with disbelief on my face

"You just lied to my sister"

"Did not. I totally let you catch me."

"Sure. Whatever" I said before I lunged at her

This time she didn't run and I ended up tackling her. "You need to get better reflexes" I laughed and looked down. She was already looking up at me and we ended up having another moment where we're just staring at each-other. This time it her who leans in and I follow her lead.

This time Emily doesn't interrupt and our lips finally touch. For a second she seems frozen like she's deciding if she made the right decision but after a second she's moving her mouth against mine.

I don't know why i've waited so long to kiss her. The way she relaxes against me and moves her lips against mine is just so satisfying. I really hope she doesn't act like this never happened because now that i've had some, I know i'll want more. She moves her arms to wrap around my neck and tugs the hair at the base of my neck a little bit.

I hear a little thud from the playground and pull away from the kiss. "What the" I see that Emily is standing up from falling "Em! Are you okay?" I yell over in her direction. She looks at me and puts two thumbs up "Yeah!" and then she goes back to playing.

I look back down at Payton and see her smiling. I stand up and hold my hand out for her to take. We head back over to the playground to get Emily and go home. We start walking home and Emily keeps making jokes and laughing. I cant really pay attention because I keep thinking about Payton. Every thought ends with the same line.

I love her.