Payton
As I leave Matti's house my phone starts buzzing and I look at it very confused. My father is calling me.. he has never done that. I answer and hesitantly say hello.
"Payton?" he asks kinda reluctantly
"Dad?"
"You're mother is in the hospital." and then he hung up. What the fuck? I turn around and knock on Matthew's door again. I start to get panicked because why was my mother in the hospital? He answers the door and looks confused.
"You okay?"
"My moms in the hospital. I need a ride." I'm surprised at how calm I sound. I'm a mess on the inside but I somehow managed to make my voice even and calm.
"Let's go." I'm glad he didn't ask me any questions. I wouldn't have any answers. Who calls to tell you that your mom is in the hospital and hang up with no other details? My father. That's who.
It takes about 20 minutes to get to the hospital from Matthew's house. We sit in silence for a while. It's not an awkward silence though. It's one of those nice comfortable silences.
When Matthew parks his car, I jump out of my seat and rush for the entrance. I'm searching frantically for the check in desk.
"Hi, how can I help you ma'am?"
"My mom. She's here. I don't know where, but she's here."
"Okay sweetie, what's her name?"
"Angie. Angie White."
"Room 26B second floor"
"Thank you" I find Matthew and tell him what the lady told me. We rush to the elevator and go to the second floor. When the elevator opens i'm running out of it and searching for room 26.
It takes about 3 minutes for me to find it. I somehow managed to pass it a few times. I knock on the door and when a doctor doesn't open it I walk in. I don't make it past the door. I see my mom in the hospital bed with her eyes closed and an iv in her arm.
There are bruises on her arms and she has a black eye. I have a feeling my father is the person responsible for all of the bruises. I'm frozen in my spot and can't seem to unfreeze my legs long enough to move. I can feel the tears but it's like nothing can function properly right now.
Matthew sees me frozen and gently shoves me so I can move. I slowly walk over to my moms bedside. I kneel and take her hand and finally start to cry. I've pictured this a few times. My mom in a hospital bed or death bed. I've tried to imagine my reactions and what I would do if this were to ever happen. For some reason in my imagination I didn't see tears. In my imagination I just stood there with a blank expression, looking at the woman who was supposed to be my loving mother. I was never able to muster up the sympathy to weep for her, but here I am kneeling and crying.
Matthew sat down in one of the chairs and stayed silent. I chose to break the silence. "I've pictured this moment so many times. I never thought i'd cry for her. This woman.. she was supposed to be my mother. I was supposed to go to her about boys and cry when he broke my heart. She was supposed to be there! Why am I crying for her?"
"Because you love her." How can you love someone who hurts you?
"I don't think I do"
"Then you wouldn't be crying. She hurt you but she gave you life. You automatically will always have that bond with her. You don't want to love her. You don't mean to love her, but you wouldn't be crying if you didn't. You wouldn't have even come to the hospital."
"She should've been there." that's the last thing I said before I started crying again. Maybe i'm not crying for her. Maybe i'm crying at the fact that she was never there and she wont be there for me to tell her she wasn't. Who am I kidding? That sounds ridiculous. I hate to admit it but I think Matthew's right.
I stand up and Matthew does the same. He thinks I stood up to leave but that's not the reason. I walk over to him and put my arms around his torso. He pauses for a moment and then puts his arms around me and returns the hug. I just stand there and don't let go. I needed a hug.
**
It's been a few hours at the hospital. Matthew and I have been in the waiting room waiting for news about my mom. My dad was never here. He called me telling me she was here but he never showed up for his wife.
"Payton White?" a nurse finally calls my name
"Right here." I stand up and make my way over to her.
"So, your mother.. her fall caused her to have external and internal injuries. The external look bad, as you saw but the internal were worse. She had a pretty good blow to her ribs and they cracked. Her body is weak and she doesn't seem to be making any progress."
I need to call grandma. She needs to know. How did I not call grandma before.
"Oh" that's all I can say. What else do you say to that. I need to get away from the nurse and call grandma. Grandma is my focus right now. I can't focus on my dying mother. I walk away without another word and go back to Matthew. "I need my phone. Now. Please" I'm frantic again. On the verge of tears trying to find my phone. god, i'm pathetic.
"What happened? Is she gonna be okay?" I shake my head no and hold up my finger telling him to wait. I dial my grandmas number and explain everything to her. The nurse thinks my mom fell. No one knows my dad is an abuser and I have to go home to that. Grandma gets more concerned about how I am then her own daughter. She said she'll be there soon.
Just a little longer. I can deal for a bit longer.
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Surprise
YOU ARE READING
Easily broken
RomanceEver since middle school Payton White has been basically invisible to everyone and she likes it that way. That is until someone bumps into her and tries to get Payton to stop hiding. Will she resist? Will it work? Will it be enough?
