𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 | jxdn x mgk

*twelve | "am i gay?"

🎸# [ROCKSTAR]

Jaden ended his night by watching some Tribe Nine. He let a yawn escape his lips, and his eyelids droop low. He turned his tv off and set his remote on the nightstand. He put his phone there too and pulled his covers over his body.

His head hitting the pillow, all the tension left his body, falling into a deep slumber.

The sun peaked through Jaden's curtains, hitting his eyes. He squinted them more, groaning. He rolled over in his bed, pulling the sheets over him.

"Fuck~" he groaned. He sat up and rubbed the last little sleep out of his eyes. He grabbed his phone and looked at the things he missed while he was sleeping.

He saw that he had a text, from Colson.

hey :) you up??

Jaden scoffed. The classic hook-up text was sent at three in the morning. Pathetic, Jaden said to himself. He shut his phone off after sending Josh a text that he would have his phone off for the day. He had nothing planned, and he was happy.

He got out of his bed and walked to his dresser, he grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and some new shorts. He walked into the connected bathroom and shut the door. He turned some music on, jamming out to his playlists.

He turned the water on and waited for it to heat up. He stood under the showerhead and let the water trickle down his back. Groaning in comfort, Jaden began his shower routine.

Once he was done he got out and dried his body and hair. He got dressed in the boxers and shorts and ran a hand through his hair.

He walked down to the kitchen and made himself some coffee, and a bagel. He made a mental note to tell Josh at the end of the day what he ate for the day, or he could wait till their back tomorrow morning. But that could bring more chaos than good. He was annoyed that he always had to tell Josh what he was eating, but he knew it was because Josh cared about him. 

Once his bagel was done he added some butter and cream cheese. He made his coffee and sat down at the small breakfast nook they had. That Nessa decorated.

He looked out the window taking the view, he loved doing this when his head was clouded. And his head right now is definitely cloudy.

He sips on his coffee, it burning the roof of his mouth. "Damn," he hissed, in pain. He set his coffee back down and started on his bagel.

Bagels were always a sage food for Jaden, they never made him hate himself. He finished his coffee and food, and put both in the sink.

"Fuck should I do?" He wondered out loud. He looked at his body, even though he was a little happier about it now he still hated it.

"A workout it is," he affirmed. He threw on some tennis shoes and filled the water. He grabbed his headphones and phone, playing music through the red gadget. He placed them over his ears and stretched. A small run and weightlifting couldn't hurt him.

After his stretching, he walked out the door and started his four-mile run with a jog. 

After about a mile, he picked up the pace into a run. He knew this was contradicting the shower he took prior to this. But he didn't care, he liked running. 

He finished his run and started moving on to some lifting. After completing a few reps of three different exercises, Jaden was done. He felt satisfied after he chugged a whole water bottle full of cold water. 

When he went back inside it was only one in the afternoon. He went to his bathroom and took an ice-cold shower. It was very refreshing. 

He dried off and put cleaner clothes on, and decide to work on writing some songs. He shut his bedroom door, turn some background noise on the tv, and went to his desk. 

He pulled out his notebook and flipped to an empty page. He picked up a pen and started scribbling down thoughts and ideas. 

He couldn't think of much, the only word that repeated through his mind was, "Gay." 

"Am I gay?" He pondered out loud. That was all that could fill his mind. 

"Man fuck this," he slammed his notebook shut and stood up. He walked over to his bed and flopped on it. 

He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. His mind drifted back to the question. He did find Colson attractive, and he did find Ryder hot. He grabbed his computer and opened up google. He ghosted his fingers over the keys before typing in the search bar. 

The porn site popped up and Jaden clicked on a category he never thought he would click on. He scrolled through a few videos before finding one that piqued his interest. 

As he watched one guy slide down the other dick, he felt himself getting hard. He took his shorts off and wrapped his hand around his dick. He pumped his dick up and down, pleasure shooting through his body. 

"Fuck," he threw his head back. Moans and groans came from the computer, and from Jaden's mouth. 

He pumped faster as images of men popped into his head. "Shit, shit," he moaned. He sped up and slowed down, edging himself. 

He felt himself reaching his climax quickly. He looked at the video and the guy was now being blown by the other. He thought back to him and Colson. He groaned and shot his load all over his hand. He grabbed a tissue from the other nightstand and cleaned up his mess. 

"That still doesn't answer my question," he said, closing out the web browser. He leaned back on his bed, his face contorted remembering that he thought of Colson while he was jacking off. 

"Blonde bastard," he mumbled. He decided a nap was a good idea. He got under the covers and closed his eyes. 

🎸# [ROCKSTAR]

XAN'S OPINIONS |

my outlet is broken so my tv doesn't work. 

so my focus is at a low. 

anyways. since updates have been less frequent you got small smut. 

also check out swim, i think you guys would like it!