Blue and White - Levi Fanfiction

Ch. 12 - A Worried Heart, and Fitful Sleep

This might all be for naught.

This city would never truly be free of violence.

No matter how horrible it was to consider, even children were not free of it in this accursed place. There would never be a safe day, a warm meal, nor hardly a loving family for these children. But this city, if nothing else, it raised fighters.

This job alone would not ensure that these children all passed safely from childhood to adulthood. If we were successful here, there was no guarantee that when these kids were brought back to their families or to their orphanages that they wouldn't get sick, that they wouldn't get recruited to a gang, or that they would even make it through this next year.

But something came to mind as I stood there. Actually, lots of things came to mind. Who could possibly come to mind first but my own little brother, poor little Caden. I had not been able to save him. I hadn't been there for him when he needed me most. When he was dying... he had been alone. In the time it had taken me to return to the kitchen, he had already been dead.

I should have been with him... 

I should have been with him. But I hadn't been.

His soul had, fortunately, been laid to rest peacefully. But these children...

My thoughts from weeks ago returned to me, then. I don't want to only be a name. I want to do something good... El saved my life. I want to be like him. Someone good.

I was no hero. At least, not yet. But right now, that's what these children needed and so, whether they were only safe for a minute or for weeks to come, they deserved the chance to be alive.

It was no sin for them to be born, to be a waste of the city's scarce resources.

So... this might all be for naught, but I needed to be what these kids needed me to be right now.

My eyes narrowed and I found myself walking towards the children in the center of the room. I crouched down before one, seeing fair skin, brown hair, and eyes only now fluttering open. I found myself struck by large, green eyes made dull from malnourishment, and by the shock of how much this child looked like Caden.

But then again... every child reminded me of him in one way or another.

I stood, and didn't realize I had started walking towards the door until Farlan spoke up. "Amaya," he hissed, "what are you doing?"

I stopped, wondering that for myself. What the hell was I just about to do? I'd started walking towards the door, with no plan, only with the thought of avenging Caden and protecting these children in my mind. Huh. That was not good.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, looking over my shoulder at Farlan. "We need a plan. I think it goes without saying that our priority is getting these children to safety."

"Right," Farlan agreed easily. "Yeah. If all else goes to shit in there, we prioritize retrieving them."

"The operation here is clearly thought out," Levi said, and he was right. Based on the sheer amount of work laid out on these walls, what they were doing had to be incredibly well thought out. They'd have gotten caught a long time ago, otherwise. "Odds are, they'll have a lot of people in there."

"No matter how you look at it," I said, "this isn't something that would be possible with only a few people."

"That's true," Farlan said, considering it. "We have our gear, which gives us an edge. It'd probably intimidate the hell out of them if we even just walk in there. We can block the door and demand information from them."