Blue and White - Levi Fanfiction

Ch. 54 - One Week

One more week. Only one - no more, and no less. One week... until the departure of the scouts for the mission to retake Wall Maria. That's what Erwin told us during our meeting today. The date was set, the path was set, and a million plans, backup plans, contingency plans, and emergency plans were written out, detailed for our viewing.

One week.

The meeting was as arduous as it was long, but it was necessary all the same. We - and I mean the scouts as a whole - needed to be prepared for any possibility we could even think of, and as such, their commanding officers needed to be prepared. Only by preparing us would our subordinates be prepared.

So it was necessary, yes, but it was a lot to take in.

As Erwin continued, reviewing details on final preparations to be made by each of the commanding officers regardless of rank, I drowned him out, knowing that he'd be giving us individualized reports with lists of what we were supposed to do anyway, and if I had any questions, I need only come to him and ask.

Alright, perhaps that was granting myself too much credit, or giving myself a reason that I wasn't really paying attention. While what was stated before was true, the simple fact of the matter was that I couldn't quite focus, not with the way that my mind was racing.

Admittedly, it was doing that a lot, lately.

And admittedly, there was a lot to think about.

One week from today, I would accompany the scouts as they neared what had become Titan territory within our walls - what had once been ours, but had been stolen from us alongside countless lives, territories, farms, and more, by traitors to humanity. One week from today, I would see them off, and from there, I would be in the dark.

And that - knowing that I was not going to be there, that I wasn't going to be part of the action, that I wouldn't know the outcome, good or otherwise, until they returned - was not a good feeling, nor was it one that I was used to.

I was so used to being part of the fighting, being there and being present, being able to protect people or help others, being privy to everything going on and helping to make decisions on the fly.

I didn't like being in the dark. I was a very analytical, observant fighter, and I didn't typically go off on my own. Rather, I would always make sure I was in the middle of everything so I could go help whoever needed it, and occasionally, those who did not. If ever I fought alone, it was because I was ordered to - often to eliminate threats before they could reach the main forces and become a problem. Stepping back into my roots as a thief and into my training in the vanguard, fighting solo wasn't something foreign to me, but it was not something I strove for.

I found strength in assisting my comrades, and found courage in knowing I could help someone other than myself. I was strong and fast, that was indisputable. I could take care of myself, just as every soldier within these ranks could - but the battlefield was unpredictable, and things could change quickly. Someone could very quickly be caught off guard by something, even me. The difference was that I had been raised by a soldier in an unforgiving city where I had needed to defend myself from an age earlier than most, where instinct, intuition, and experience wove together to protect myself.

The way I was raised prepared me for this life here with the scouts. I could react quickly and effectively, and rather reliably, at that. And that made me a valued asset in a team and on my own.

All of this, but I didn't have the same strength that Levi had. I also didn't have the ease he did in battle, so more often than not, I used what strength I did have from simply training and working with him to help others.