Blue and White - Levi Fanfiction

Ch. 89 - The Letter, Asking After You

Levi and I could do nothing more for now than continue training the recruits. And that was it. That was... all we could do.

I had always felt useless compared to Levi, but this was stretching things a bit, even for me. A fucking war was on the horizon and I was going to work like everything was normal.

If nothing else, it was clear to me that Levi was getting increasingly frustrated by everything going on. I did what I could to help him. Massages, plenty of tea, quiet nights in, and doing all I could to stay out of his way when he was clearly in a bad mood that wouldn't be alleviated easily, no matter my efforts. I knew how to read him, and consequently knew what he needed at different times.

Once the fighting begins, everything would be up in the air. I found solace in knowing that once it did come, Emiko would be safe. But not knowing what would happen to everyone else that I loved left a bitter taste in my mouth. I was losing sleep at night, but I didn't dare tell Levi that. I was worried, that was all.

And one day, amidst the growing worry about Eren and his whereabouts, we received word that the Tybur family offered their support to the Paradis Island Operation. Well, that was good news, anyway. All the hard work of the Azumabito had paid off, to some extent.

But on another day, a wrench – no, a fucking boulder – was tossed into the mix. We received a letter. Not just any letter, no. It was from Eren. Because that asshole had run off on us and had the audacity to send us a god damn letter.

Oh, not that I was allowed to see it, of course.

I wasn't expecting that, that's for damn sure.

Something I realized very quickly was that I was kept from the planning or discussion of whatever it was that he had sent, which absolutely did not sit right with me. It was subtle, at first, so subtle I hadn't noticed it earlier. But now, it was obvious: letters from Hange were no longer addressed to both of us, but just to Levi. I hardly even received regular updates, anymore. It was suspicious as hell, and I was not having it. And to not be allowed to see the letter...

When our copy came, with Hange's attached scrawl, I was with Emi in her room, playing on the floor with her when Levi went out to get the mail.

"Stay here, sweetie," I murmured to her, standing up, my hair on the back of my neck standing on end as I realized something felt off. I stepped through the doorway, leaning through it to watch Levi start down the hallway towards the office, the mail in hand. His steely eyes were trained downwards as he walked, already reading through one of the documents. "Anything for me, Levi?"

He slowed slightly in his step, barely sparing me a glance as he walked by. "No, brat," he muttered. "Not today."

"Anything for us, then?"

"No," he answered again.

He headed into the office then, and I nodded my head with disbelief, hardly able to comprehend that. I'd caught a glance of what he was reading. I could clearly see Hange's usual ledger, with the Survey Corps Wings displayed plainly on the top. So, it was official business, that they simply did not want me to know about.

He disappeared into the office, the door closing behind him. I looked back at Emi, who was playing peacefully by herself, then back down the hall towards the office. I stepped into the hall and pulled Emi's door closed behind me, promising to be back in a few minutes.

I stormed down the hall and flung the door of the office open. I knew that the way that I was doing this was bound to piss Levi off. The way to argue with Levi was to not get mad, to not let emotions do the talking, because then he'd just call me irrational. And here I was, getting emotional and irrational.